A man wearing a pinstripe suit and a fedora suddenly appears, floating in midair. His face looks disapproving.\n\n"Do not question the man," booms his voice! "You know how we do things around here! You're fired! Mr. Snide sends his regards!"\n\nAll of a sudden, I find myself literally on fire. Shortly thereafter, I literally black out. Okay, maybe not *[[literally|Start]]*.

No matter how high I climb, it seems these stairs never end. How fucking [[cliché|cliche drop]].\n\n[[Keep climbing.|climb]]\n[[Go back down.|go back down]]

After stumbling a bit, I'm finally on two feet.\n\nThis place is pretty dank. A couple nondescript [[crates]] are lying here. There's a [[staircase]] that extends into the darkness.

I [[climb]] the stairs...

I do a 180 and suddenly realize that the base of the stairs is only [[fifteen steps]] down, despite having climbed almost a mile. It's just like in video games. How fucking [[cliché|cliche drop]].

The crates still don't seem to move. Maybe I should [[keep pushing|keep keep pushing]]...

Wow, these crates! [[Keep pushing|keep pushing]]?\n\nThese must be [[really heavy]]!

I move one of the crates, revealing a [[hidden passage]]. How fucking [[cliché|cliche drop]].

I begin to descend the stairs. Suddenly, the steps [[drop out]] from under my feet!

I [[climb and climb and climb]] the stairs...

Ugh... where am I? I must have amnesia... how fucking [[cliché]].

It seems like I'm in a warehouse of some kind. I count the crates... there's six. I walk a ways and I see a strip large enough to house the six crates. Am I... in [[Sokoban|sokoban]]?\n\n(Man, the Start-to-Crate on this game is ABYSSMAL.)

I [[climb and climb and climb]] the stairs[[...]]

The crate explodes, and my viewport turns sideways. Just like that, knocked out by an explosion. How fucking [[cliché|cliche drop]].

All of a sudden, a heavily-armored space marine bursts in. He shouts a bunch of obnoxious one-liners and then fires a rocket... at the crate next to me?! Oh [[nooooo]]...

Apparently I am. I start [[pushing the crates]].

The crates don't seem to move. Maybe I should [[keep pushing]]...

I [[climb and climb]] the stairs...

I seem to be in a pit full of neatly-arranged blocks. Pieces of the stairs above fall off one-by-one, in groups of four. A mysterious force moves them to and fro before slamming them down in the pit. Unfortunately, it seems this mysterious force is Jin8, a pro Tetris: The Grand Master player. Suffice it to say, I will probably never get out of this pit, and will most certainly die of hunger. How fucking [[cliché|cliche drop]].

I enter the hidden passage, only to find [[even more crates]]!

All I know is that I'm lying here with this terrible headache.\n\nPerhaps I should [[get up]].