It sure is wonderful being a Chinese spambot! Fly gracefully through the skies, firing bowling balls at unsuspecting online communities. Don't get too close to the online communities though, or else you'll get stunned. Avoid Jeremy Penner's floating, disembodied head at all costs.
Use the left and right arrow keys to steer. Hold the down arrow key to slow down a bit.
SQUALID SPACE SQUASH
(playing it online would be the best option)
You are an experimental MOTIVATING SPACE GUN, developed by the FBI (French Butter Investigators) to give space soldiers more enthusiasm in fighting off the horrid GREEN GATTLEBLAST BUGS that are slowly infesting every corner of the galaxy. With your give and take rewards, you were supposed to give J. CITIZEN support in fighting off dummy BUGS, but unfortunately they found out about you and started invading the compound - now you and J. CITIZEN will have to fend them off lest the only existing prototype for the MOTIVATING SPACE GUN is destroyed!
Use the SDWA or ARROW KEYS to move around. J. CITIZEN is so scared of the GREEN GATTLEBLAST BUGS that he will not be able to do more than hang on to you
LEFT CLICK the MOUSE to tell J. to fire a bullet out of you. How many bullets you can fire at any given moment depend on how well J. has been fighting against BUGS.
SCORE is, well, your score. Every new power of 10 reached sets the bullet count back to 1 - double that score for 2 bullets, triple it for 3, and so on. This system is meant to reward combatants for great achievement, and subsequently give them more challenge when they perform well.
HEALTH is how many more hits J. CITIZEN can take before expiring, leaving you helpless against the damn BUGS! Every 1000 points gained gives J. more confidence, allowing him to take another hit.
BULLETS tells you straightfowardly how many shots can be made at once.
MONSTER HUNGER is a rating of how ravenous the BUGS have gotten - as it increases, so does the speed of BUGS, how well they can track you, and how many points killing one is worth.
MONSTERS ALIVE is a convenient counter of what you are currently up against.
1-80: You couldn't even kill a single GREEN GATTLEBLAST BUG? Either the MOTIVATING SPACE GUN is a failure, or YOU are!
81-1000: OK job - if you're a monkey
1001-5000: Good work, J. must be really feeling the flow!
5001-10000: You made it as far as many would be expected too
20000+: Wow, that was quite a stretch!
30000+: You must be cheating...
KLIPART SHOOTER: A 'SMEDIS'® PRODUCTION BY MNO™
THE INSIPID STORY
You are CAPTAIN STARRUFF, klipart ship pilot extraordinaire. You are the commander for the space station, DINGWED, around the planet POOLYTEXTURED-SORRY. Everything was fine until one day while you were scouting out a new area of the planet, FVIL EACE attacked and destoryed DINGWED with his wormy army of APPLE CLONES! You are humanity's last resort to defeat FVIL EACE once and for all, CAPTAIN STARRUFF! You only have 100 SPACE SECONDS* to do so before the weight of the clones creates a black hole! May the power of klipart be with you!
* 1 SPACE SECOND = ax²+by - 4ac normal seconds
THE INSPIRED CONTROLS
Press the SHIFT key to do stuff such as: play the game; shoot; play the game again; shoot more
Use the ARROW KEYS to move your ship around when it exists. They do nothing otherwise so don't bother wasting your time pressing them.
At any time you can hit ESCAPE to end the game, and forcing CAPTAIN STARRUFF to launch himself out of his ship and catch onto a passing star to reach earth before FVIL EACE and warn them of the danger. The latter is not shown because the animation budget ran out.
1-5002: Yu are the worst don't bother playing again give up
5001+: KLIPART MASTER
SOCKRUNE 2: RUNE OF SOCKS
WERLIN (not to be confused with his counsin BERLIN) was performing magic tricks, when suddenly his assistant CAT RONALDJUMPER bursts onto the stage with terrible news! The evil DR. I. BOWL, along with his assistant FIREPANTS, stole RONALD CATJUMPER's (ed note: see the first SOCKRUNE game for his story!) and used it to create an army of clones of his two henchmen, ZOMBUTT and GOOD DRAGON. The amassed army is right outside of WERLIN's castle, and DR. I. BOWL plans to steal his RUNE OF SOCKS! Without this magical rune, WERLIN would be unable to use his SOCK MAGIC!
WERLIN, as a powerful wizard, has many spells! Unfortunately the army of DR. I. BOWL has already broken into WERLIN's castle and smashed many of the runes that give WERLIN his power. All that's left is the RUNE OF SOCKS, which allows WERLIN to fire deadly socks in any of 8 directions (SHIFT KEY). WERLIN is well versed in the magic of moving around quickly in any direction without much effort (ARROW KEYS).
Through use of his SOCK RUNE, WERLIN was able to create a force field around him to protect himself from harm. Unfortunately due to his weakened power it can only take 10 hits. Luckily, DR. I. BOWL and FIREPANTS will be unable to hurt him, but they can give WERLIN a nasty shove - possibly into another baddie!
0-20 You didn't even try!!
21-50 You're doing OK, but WERLIN still lost his RUNE OF SOCKS!
51-100 Maybe you will be able to fight off the invaders better with more practice.
101-150 Keep it up WERLIN!
151-200 You fought off more than half of the attackers!
201-250 Great job!
300+ You managed to defeat the entire army!
You must get to safety, escape the mutant mosquitos of madness using your jet boat and super shooter.
Game was made over an hour and a half using construct 2 and paint.net
Output is HTML 5, included in the zip is a minimal webserver so it will run offline.
Just run the rungame.bat to start it up, in internet explorer no less!
Webserver from here: http://code.google.com/p/bareboneswebserver/
added Online version (exactly the same, just hosted on my webserver)
I've always wanted to make Contra with Mouseaim, but life has a way of getting in the way. Fortunately, I had an excuse to hack together this game during the few evenings when I wasn't totally worn out from my jorb.
Play until you die, basically. That's a good life philosophy.
Alright this game is mostly pointless. Just try to get to the top with a combination of shooting the walls and exploiting glitches in Multimedia Fusion's platforming engine.
CONTROLS: arrow keys to move, shift to jump, ctrl to shoot, crashing into a wall while on the descending part of a jump while holding shift and then probably pressing the arrow key in the opposite direction of the wall immediately after collision/during collision to wall jump, which can be repeated as many times as you want if you figure it out
MUSIC: Made by Safety-Based Rope. He lives on soundcloud.com
SOUND EFFECTS: The sound of the gun shooting is some guy pronouncing a click, the kind that are found mainly in African languages. The sound of a block being destroyed is a voiceless velar fricative, which is a German ch or a Russian x or a Chinese h or an Arabic kh probably or whatever transliteration is being used at the time or Scottish ch. Yeah.
Okay have fun.
Shoot a dude with a shotgun. Good enough for one shot?
Be a dick, shoot evil cunts.
- by @SiriHoho