EPeakLanB! (the acronym extension was improvised early am)
The Santa/Grog/Grolby/Tia rat-pack is back with more cast and more blast!
* Written in two languages so nobody understands nobody
* Soundfonted midi music playing to a listener's delight
* Guaranteed to appall and awe the masses in an improvised Christmas/Winter Pageant
* Released a day before Orthodox Christmas
* Other stars/bullets that may or may not shock yoU!!!!!
* Sequel to Arswaeerea
Have you ever been so lost in a series it inspires a change in your canon, or you decided to take a request and still work out a dream in your head you've been itching to do? EpeakLanB can take you there. The world is also open! Your input can change the direction of where or what those crazy crew members are and/or do next. Suggestions are open, psyches can by hypnotic, and life is full of fiber optics to bring these pipe dreams to sewer life!
Authors' outside-of-game Notes:
This took a bit longer than expected, but released one day before Christmas so that's a +. Ray's story can finally be enjoyed by others.
Part of the time involved watching an entire series for "rewsearch" and that took a while. I don't want to spoil the series and and made an attempt to tread carefully in the finished(?) product to reflect on that so PM me if you want my take on it. Good series though.
Thanks to clyde for the inspiration. Other names of notoriety in bass: Catdodo, Lazi, Moneyfunny, onlyorange. It's really early. I must sleep. The Christmas cycle curse has been broken and for that I can say:
Attachments included: 26283391.txt game script as of now. This site doesn't allow xml attachments so pretend it's text, rename to xml and view it in a browser if you want that layout to see what a bassnovel game is really made of! epeak.txt all of the chinese text here before translation. It isn't in any order. other conceptual art.
edit: smaller image version of the image so it doesn't break the page. original image here
Or you could choose and play EPeakLanB if you'd like! I made an uninspired PLAY BUTTON animation you can click on that will theoretically take you there. You could also alternatively click on this sentence as well for your enjoyment!
Having Trouble running the game? Maybe the replies to this comment will help!
Interested in dropping a line of feedback/input or just SUP? That would be great pilgrim! Alternatively you can scroll down if you want to reply to one of the commentes instead. *DISCLAIMER* if you object to any comments listed below as I'm not a moderator, don't reply to it as it makes the original message uneditable. Leave a comment next to it or drop the recipient a PM lol. *Other Disclaimer* Game flow and events subject to change, things are unpredicable, just in case.
Acks: mno, dattzies, spindleyq, linhat, 3fox, dorn, yom, chaos, mkapolka, sergio, fvm, superdot, vampirkat, nuuup, jeff, happygreenfrog, blueberryhill, smedis, db20, newt, wil, commodore, orion, bagofmagicfood, erokky, bitbot, everythingistaken, barf, lemmer, sean, racarate, rehasoft, adrian, josh, hellogregor, pillow, left-off-studios, mizzq, lilinx.com, noyb, wertpol, robgba, pirate_sephiroth, aplsos, RedR, snapman, hugs, leilei, scribblewise, clyde, the ug, #sally, #glorioustrainwrecks, forkheads, #gmc, #bottlekids, penjamin, flimsy
in the future of the past the uploaded consciousnesses of two long-dead world warriors fight for processor cycles inside some sort of christmas computer program???
arrow keys to move
wasd to aim
space to attack
updated to (hopefully) make things quicker and more challenging. my inclination is to keep tweaking this forever. (i hope you enjoy!)
All was quiet, thanks to your diet.
But in the middle of the night,
suddenly you had a fright!
The sleigh bells were ringing,
but the fireplace was not singing.
What could it be, but the Chistmas set free?
TWO WAYS TO PLAY! 2) Download the Old School For Schools Edition in the zip file to play it- assuming you are on a computer that can understand such old dog tricks! Z) Click the link to the web to play the STOCKRUE: DAWN OF CHISTMAS [PRO EDITION]! Features: real time sound play, advanced music orchestration, and a suspicious lack of candy canes.
Let the story commence...
They all know about the season for the gift aquiring (all 128 days of it) - but do they know the plights of the gift wranglers? Only CANDELBRA CANNY can give a glimpse into the unglimpsed world of gift wrapping in the tertiary Northwest Pole - where reporters and camera holders are loathe to bother trekking towards. Plus, the frigid DR. PENG (short for DREADFUL PENG) - controls the placement of en-dashes as well as the distribution of gifts...
Wrap, rip, plant, send, open, enjoy. The process of gifting. But mysteries lie beneath this surface of seeming simplicity... And who can say what they are? All the people know is that they order their gifts during their given 128 days, and on the dawn of Chistmas they find them under their festive plum pile! Nobody can be displeased at this situation, for signs of displeasure might mean you find your teeth getting inside only coal as you bite into your plump plum pie.
But what is in a gift? The real question is what CAN'T be, and lies is what. Only the truth can be found inside a gift - and all the truth is found inside gifts. Be careful what you wish for, because you certainly will get it, like it or not. If you inquire too much into what goes into getting you the truth, maybe this Chistmas in your gift you'll find... yourself!
Before you continue, did you know? There are only 128 gifts available. One for each day of Chistmas. It would be wrong for there to be more.
Clearly, the penguins don't do the work around here. They just make sure it happens. Nobody knows how, but it is likely that the penguins keep it this way. Some say that we are just creating a mass projection conciousness towards the penguins and our psychic bonds and need to believe in something (anything) so badly have created an otherworldly force - or farce. Some people also say the moon is made out of penguins and that they will come down to collect for their loan to us, in the only way they know how: through the beak.
Whatever horse you hold on to to get a pick of your precious plums, the penguins are here and they are part of Chistmas. Trying to challenege this is an affront to the well-meaning Chistmas spirit inside every penguin - and maybe every person too!
Hold on, did that penguin just say something to CANDELBRA CANNY? Or - to you? Does the difference really matter?
BRR! BRR! BRR! BRR! BRR!! BRR! BRR! BRR! BRR! BRR!!
BRR! BRR! B-R! BRR! BRR!! BRR! BRR! BRR! BRR! BRR!!
BRR! BRR! BRR! BRR! BRR!! BRR! BRR! BR-! BRR! BRR!!
-RR! BRR! BRR! BRR! BRR!! BRR! BRR! BRR! BRR! BRR-!
A giant statue of their head commemorates their existance. Sometimes penguins seem to dance to it, or possibly mock it. Nobody knows which DREADFUL PENG would prefer, or if those are even the options and opinions PENG has about their penguin actors/decriers. That about sums up what is understood of PENG's thoughts, actions, rationale: nothing. Sure, there's a press release every now and then, but more than two of them has been covered in turpines (the favourite fish of the penguins of the NorthEast Fifth Pole Sub-Sector 49: AlphaAelphElf - coincidentally the vacation resort of PENG!). It can be deduced from this simple fact, quite undeniable really, that DREADFUL PENG has not ever written a word we have thought to be from their hand! Rather, they dictate their messages to the outside world through the medium of penguin pennship. Read between the lines, do the math, circle the x's, dot the q's, and think for yourself for once. Don't you see how - ridiculous this is? And we let DREADFUL PENG run amok - unchecked - with - so - much power over - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Take over their role, the flame of the spirit of Chistmas. It is up to them (you!) to contain the unruly gifts, as DR. PENG unleashes them into the world (as far as the 3rd NW Pole is the world). It is up to their abilities - namely, demanding more rights (recieved in the form of more gifts to wrap mostly), transmogrifying the self (but not the spirit) into a candy cane with nice blue highlights, as well as summoning another CANNY from another timeline (when the boss DR. PENG is not looking). CANNY is likely the only living gift wrapper today, so they have a lot of work cut out for them!
Thankfully you are on the scene now. Help guide CANDELBRA CANNY with the ARROW KEYS and the SHIFT KEYS towards the gifts to bring forth more into the world. When two gifts collide, they will become happy together and be able to be sent out to a union of plums (which they will place themselves under to be discovered on the dawn of Chistmas). Gifts cannot be happy by themselves... and yet the icy DR. PENG refuses to make things simple for you! Thankfully, by aligning yourself with a gift you will have a platform for CANNY to demand another gift to be brought into their ice world. Congratulations on your socialist progess! Don't forget to try to recruit more workers to join your growing Union - by demolishing every gift (through the art of wrapping or noise) known to reason. But DR. PENG always has more more for you to wrap up...
|N|O|R|T|H|W|E|S|T| |3|R|D| |P|O|L|E|
Penguins roam the gardens in the distance, restricted access to visitors. Not that there have been any since... about 576 Chistmas times past. There were penguins here before anything else, and eventually everything will be only pengins. Nothing but penguins, and just the penguins. Even DR. PENG must face that they will be overrun by their farm of penguins sooner or later. The penguins say they hold many mysteries, past and passed down their descendents for spans of time that cannot be understood by any mortal. But on top of the other flipper, nobody can communicate with the penguins, and it is rumoured that even the self-proclaimed/named & cool cat DR. - PENG is unable to do so! So how can we know for sure that we have any thing about them written down that is true, in the slightest? Absolutely not.
But there's more to the NW3P than the penguins that cover every possible inch visible from the sky, or even space. Those gifts have to be wrapped up somewhere - all 128 of them! Who better to do it, than the penguins? Oh! But of course, they are all in managerial positions. Such is deserved of their old nature. We all know every thing capable of true thought naturally leads to an agressive, nasty, brutish, capitalist society.
|1|2|8| |D|A|Y|S| |O|F| |C|H|I|S|T|M|A|S|
Day 1: Get out the lists.
Day 2: Get out the pens.
Day 3: Get the words onto the lists with the pens-
Day 4: Commence shopping.
D-y 5: Continue shopping.
Day 6: Continue slapping.
Day 7: Cantinee Shopping.
Day 65: Contine shoppping.
Day 66: Containe hoppings.
Day 67: Contain+ shoppers.
Day 68: CANDELBRA CANNY begins wrap-ing.
Day 69: Commence wrapping.
Day 70: Continue Wr-pping.
Day 7-: Supervisor Inspection #1.
Day 89: Containment breach
Day 90: Containment broach
Day 91: Supervisor Ins-ection #7.
Day 92- Failure to-contain
Day 93: Failure 22 contain
Day 94: failrrr to contane
Day 105: ffvbaildvvv to bbbccc
Day 106: ff-ailerure conn-vain
Day 1-7: Supervisor Inspection #14.
Day 108: Breach contained. No errors de-ected.
Day 109: Gift wrapping resumes at the Pole.
Day 110: Supervisor Inspection #15.
Day 111: Supervisors #6 through #14 found missing.
Day 112: Hurry up with the wrapping!
Day 113: Hurry up with the wrapping!
-ay 114: Hurry up with the wrap-ing!
Day 120: Supervisor Inspection #16.
Day 121: CANDELBRA CANNY will face demerit for insufficient wrapping.
Day 122: Containment breach.
Da- 128: The tr-e meaning of -histmas is found!
|G|-|F|T| |W|R|A|P|P|I|N|G| |R|E|S|U|L|T|S|
0-1: How did you even wrap this few? How is that possible?
2-10: The ROYAL APPLE FAMILY will be glad to have your gifts. Nobody else is getting any.
12-40: Pretty good, but DR. PENG has made off with most of the GIFTS for himself and his penguin collection!
42-70: Great work! But not great enough! Your pay is being demarked 55% (on top of the 65% paycut for working overtime on holiday hours).
72-100: You're awesome! But not awesome enough! Your pay is being demarked 45% (on top of the 75% paycut for failing an attempt of success).
102-126: Please, don't talk to me. You clearly have aptitude, but you are not enough. Your replacement will be here soon.
128-128: Right on! You did it! You got it, CANNY! How.... - uncanned of you. Yes. How dare you presume you could make it this far... You must do better than that to truly appease such as me.
130+: You got more GIFTS than there were in the whole world in the first place! How did you do that? Why did you do that?? Why have you brought a collapse on the future of the universe upon us with your tampering?
i ended up spending longer than i had intended to on this game due to a combination of sheer laziness and a lack of any real programming talent! a lot of things are broken, and i would have liked to have made more levels/not so haphazard levels. oh well! i do hope that you enjoy this game!! i did have fun making certain parts of it!
music used is by lohstana david (cc-by)
libraries used in making this game: hump and hardon collider by vrld, advanced tiled loader by kadoba
if you want to do anything with my (scary) code or graphics, feel free.
mac build is untested.
object of game:
you have to get all of the fruits
wasd or arrow keys to move (though s/down doesn't do anything) move mouse to aim, click left or right mouse button to shoot
tab to toggle special challenge mode
f12 to cheat past a level
abortive dating sim
Click the link above for everything you need to know about Mr Babbo, or download and play immediately and don't pay attention to words on your screen.
Actually how about I give you more details about what went into this:
This is easily my largest game yet, and one of the biggest projects I've finished. I've learned a lot on the way, and had much fun! I hope you all enjoy!! Or at least some of you. A lot of time, effort, and tears (maybe) has gone into it, and I think everything I've made for it reflects a lot of myself. Think of that what you will.
And before you ask: the gif above, sadly, does not reflect the actual game strongly. I just put that together for fun.
If you are interested in working with the source and/or peeking at the secrets like the bad player you are, keep in mind that this was edited for release in The Games Factory 1, which isn't as easy to get as Klik'N'Play. I have no idea how backwards compatible this version would be in KNP, and I do know a couple changes I've made would mess it up in KNP a little. As such I've uploaded the slightly older KNP files, which you can nab here. One of the frames in this version crashes sometimes and I have not been able to fix this within KNP, sorry about that.
QUEST FOR SOME DAMN GOOD UGG BOOTS
You are [PLAYER NAME HERE], and you just found out about some ugg boots on sale!!! HOLY SHIT UGG BOOTS I WANT SOME. It is a wild, slippery, leathery world out there, so be careful! You never know what will happen on your way to buying some nice UGG BOOTS.
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT GUU STTOB:
"okay so the point is you expect toh ave a good time playing a game and are disappointed"
"that game was awful I am going to sleep for a while"
"I didn't like it very much, it wasn't funny"
"my kids played this and now they won't stop crying"
Q: How do I play?
A: After the game gets your name right, you just need to choose what area to move to at the end of every day.
Q: Help! I hate typing out whole words?
A: You only need to enter the first letter at any time! As in, 'N' for 'North'
Q: I LOVE YOUR GAME but I want to stop playing, how do I do that?
A: Press ESCAPE at any time, past the first screen
Q: I keep running out of food because I can't get enough meat after hunting down an Ugg!
A: That shouldn't be possible! Maybe you just suck at this game.
Q: What sickos made this? I'm reporting you!
A: Me (MNO) with plenty of help from Deckman Coss
Q: I want to read your awful code so I can tear it apart and laugh at you.
A: You can download it from here (REQUIRES PYGAME, made in Python 2.7) https://dl.dropbox.com/u/13042603/G/GUU%20STTOB%20source.zip
This is a very quick game for three players around one keyboard.
Players 1 and 2: win the affection of the beautiful obese lady by pushing and squashing your rival beneath her. Your power meters determine the strength of your push.
Player 3: shift your weight to help your preferred player win. The other two players are expected to win your favour outside the game in order to earn your preference in-game. What form this takes is up to you and them.
A - Player 1 push.
L - Player 2 push.
V, B - Player 3 shift weight.
Ferdinand Griffon (Jean-Paul Belmondo) is unhappily married and has been recently fired from his job at a TV broadcasting company. After attending a mindless party full of shallow discussions in Paris, he feels a need to escape and decides to run away with his baby-sitter, an ex-girlfriend, Marianne Renoir (Anna Karina), leaving his wife and children and bourgeois lifestyle. Following Marianne into her apartment and finding a corpse, Ferdinand soon discovers that Marianne is being chased by OAS gangsters, two of whom they barely escape. Pierrot (the unwelcome nickname Marianne gives to Ferdinand during their time together), and Marianne go on a traveling crime spree from Paris to the Mediterranean Sea in the dead man's car. They lead an unorthodox life, always on the run. Settling down in the French Riviera after having burnt the dead man's car (full of money) and sunk a second car into the Mediterranean Sea, their relationship becomes strained. Ferdinand ends up reading books, philosophizing and writing in his diary. Marianne becomes bored of the Robert Louis Stevenson-ness of their living situation and insists they return to town, where in a night-club they meet one of their pursuers. The gangsters waterboard Ferdinand and depart. In the confusion, Marianne and Ferdinand are separated, with Marianne traveling in search of Ferdinand and Ferdinand settling in Toulon. After their eventual reunion, Marianne uses Ferdinand to get a suitcase full of money before running away with her real boyfriend, to whom she had previously referred as her brother. Pierrot shoots Marianne and her boyfriend, and, in the climactic scene, paints his face blue and decides to blow himself up by tying sticks of red and yellow dynamite to his head. Regretting his decision at the last second, he tries to extinguish the fuse, but he is blinded by the dynamite and is blown up.
The hit romantic visual novel RPG gets a whole chapter of DLC -- on the day it was released! LUCKY YOU! It usually costs ten dollars, but this promotional copy sets you back ZERO DOLLARS. You could also get it by just buying the collector's edition, along with a digital artbook.
NOTE: This DLC was produced by Inchworm Studios; atuun software enterprises maintains no responsibility for the quality or content of the DLC product.