This is a very quick game for three players around one keyboard.

Players 1 and 2: win the affection of the beautiful obese lady by pushing and squashing your rival beneath her. Your power meters determine the strength of your push.
Player 3: shift your weight to help your preferred player win. The other two players are expected to win your favour outside the game in order to earn your preference in-game. What form this takes is up to you and them.

A - Player 1 push.
L - Player 2 push.
V, B - Player 3 shift weight.

A variant of http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/2761 . But it's more fun than that.

For two players, the winner is the one who shoots the other person first.

Palette ripped from http://mareodomo.tumblr.com/post/18460467234/close-ups-of-my-pizza-poster-the-colors-really . Name suggested by Iain Gillespie.