<<set $end1 = "yes">>\nyou fall for what seems like an eternity before finally landing onto a table. \n\ncards and chips fly everywhere, and you hear women shriek.\n\nafter gathering your senses and after everything has settled down, you realize you are in your own special pimp room that you rented at big al's bar. \n\nthe women drape over you and tease you as you just keep a smile on your face.\n\nthe camera goes out through the door, out of the bar and up far far over the city.\n\nsome text appears in the middle with a fade in, saying "The End".\n\n<<if $end2 eq "yes">>\n--Excellent work my friend, you've gotten both endings! I hope you enjoyed this story.\n<<else>>\n--Hey, nice one. There's another ending you might've missed though! Give this thing [[another playthrough|Go]].<<endif>>\n
you peer into the vent and hear nothing but little clinks of the rogues little pattering feet.\n\nhmm. it's definitely good luck that the vent shaft itself is pretty goddamn wide, otherwise you'd never be able to [[follow them|follow]].
<<set $mean = "no">>\nthe planet is earth\nthe year is 1997\n\npimps run amok the city. \n\nthe rogues are taking over and the only way to stop them is to get them via their one weakness; shaved legs.\n\nare you ready?\n\n[[lets go.|Go]]\n
you appear to be in some kind of candyland-esque area.\n\nthere are loads of rogues dressed as bunny rabbits here. and guess what. you have a shaver in your hand this very moment.\n\n[[BUZZY BUZZY|shave1]]
you start clambering into the vent, your long soft purple fur coat stopping any loud sounds or shakes from happening.\n\nafter about 10 minutes of crawling you stop to see if you can hear anything. nothing. which means they've probably taken a left turn at albuquerque. great.\n\n[[do that thing that you said just then which i cant remember|follow2]]
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you turn back around the best you can but end up getting stuck. \n\nand guess what your greatest fear is?\n\nthats right, getting stuck inside a small area!\n\noh what fun this will bring.\n\nyou try unstucking yourself by kicking your feet the best you can.\n\nnada. all you've done is just shake the vent violently.\n\nafter the vent noise has died down, you hear the faint sound of feet tiptapping away quickly.\n\n[[shit.|follow3]]
ok, well, you're stuck in an air vent, lost two rogues which you could've removed from the earth and your claustrophobia is going off like jason voorhees on summer break.\n\nafter about half an hour of fidgeting around in the vent, you finally manage to get yourself unstuck. having done this, you've created a new problem for yourself. \n\nthe vent shakes and rattles violently, with various panels just flying off down onto the floor below. \n\nsuddenly, the panel directly underneath you poofs away and you end up falling into [[the room below|end1]]
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you lay there, strapped to the wall for a good while or so, at least 30 minutes it seemed. suddenly, a door opens, and a 7 foot tall burly man steps into the room holding a razor blade.\n\nthe only thoughts that went through your mind from there on were terror, agony, pain and [[death|fate2]].\n\n(Authors Note: yes im too squeamish to actually write out a detailed story of what happened, sue me)
<<set $mean = "no">>\n<<set $dejavu = "yes">>\n<<set $end2 = "yes">>\nyou pat yourself down as fast as you can. you cant FEEL any scars. you definitely seem to be alive.\n\nhaving a second look at your surroundings, you can't recognize where you are. you appear to be on some kind of street sidewalk. \n\nyou have the same thoughts for the man who is standing by you. \n\nyou've only just processed these thoughts, but now the man is taking you somewhere. you don't know where. \n\nyou're scared again. scared that something might happen to you a second time, and this time round, it'll be real. \n\nyou remove yourself from the man's grasp, punch him in the face and run away crying.\n\nand so ends the story. of victoria.\n\n<<if $end1 eq "yes">>\n--Excellent work my friend, you've gotten both endings! I hope you enjoyed this story.\n<<else>>\n--There's another path to take. Try not dying as John this time around. Here, have a link to [[restart the game|Go]].<<endif>>
you rapidly run up to one of the rogues which happily bounce toward you in order to give you an easter egg. before it could do so, you shave its legs so they're nice and smooth.\n\nthe rogue drops to the floor writhing.\n\n[[YAY|shave2]]
"yo al dont worry, im not after anything other than those rogue bastards. unless you're offering a martini, that is. don't worry, i'll pay this time round." you say as you get out a 10 dollar bill.\n\nbig al breathes a sigh of relief, takes the 10 dollars from you and pours a martini. \n\nyou take a sip of the drink and instantly feel invigorated.\nhey, what can i say? big al does the best drinks in town!\n\nanyway, don't we have somethings to take care of? \n\nlike those things in the vent? yeah. maybe we should [[go take care of them|vent]].
<<if $dejavu eq "yes">>you cross the road from the car wash and go down the steps into big al's bar. \n\nas you enter the bar, you feel a strange sense of deja vu. it's almost as if you're doing this a second time around.\n\nyou look around the bar. you notice [[big al doing his usual job|bigal]] at the main drinks area and two rogues scuttling into an [[air vent|vent]]. you note that it's odd that there isn't any women here. they're usually here at this hour, anyway.\n\n<<else>>\nyou cross the road from the car wash and go down the steps into big al's bar. \n\nas you enter the bar, you note the horrific stench of alcohol. totally uncool.\n\nyou look around the bar. you notice [[big al doing his usual job|bigal]] at the main drinks area and two rogues scuttling into an [[air vent|vent]]. you note that it's odd that there isn't any women here. they're usually here at this hour, anyway.\n<<endif>>
"Vicky?"...you hear someone shout. \n\n"Viiicky??"...you open your eyes.\n\n"Oh thank goodness, you're still alive. You looked like you were writhing in agony then. It would've been horrible to have lost you." a man who was standing over you said.\n\nYou sit up. You look at the man. You look at your surroundings. [[This isn't the place you were in before|joy]].
<<if $mean eq "yes">>\nyour name is Victora PimpMcMafiaGal\n\nthe current time is 02:10\n\nyour current location is the roof of big al's bar\n\nlooking out upon the horizon, you see everything from scandal sex nights, to people putting up new advertisements for the latest products by The Corporation.\n\nyou consider going down to big al's bar but you don't think it'd be worth it. \n\nperhaps....mayb..e..we..cou..l....d.....[[zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz|sleep]]\n\n<<else>>\nyour name is John McMafiaPimpDude.\n\nthe current time is 00:38.\n\nyour current location is the car wash\n\nyou spy two rogues tiptoeing down to [[big al's bar|bar]].\n\nother than that, there is nothing else of importance here.\n\nif you like, you could investigate the car wash, but you doubt theres anything of interest there, so you don't bother.<<endif>>
<<set $big_al = "yes">>\nyou approach the bar with a ~golden smile~.\n\nbig al looks up at you and sighs. \n\n"alright john. what do you want this time? my women? my money? hell, do you want my job is that what you want? i'll give you my job so long as you leave me alone." big al says to you.\n\nhow do you reply? kind or nasty? the decision is yours my friend.\n\n[[kind]]\n[[mean]]
you prance around in the flower garden too, repeatedly sneezing due to your erratic hay fever.\n\nafter your bout of prancing, you go back to shaving all the beautiful cute widdle bunny wabbits of their fur\n\n...wait.\n\n[[why stop|shave4]] at their fur♪
♪la la la la prancing through the park [[shaving|shave3]] all the bunnies la la la la laaaaaa♪
you close your eyes. after about 5 minutes or so, you open them again.\n\nyou're facing a light on the ceiling. you are currently tied up against a metal wall, with no means of escape.\n\nyou try struggling, but it does nothing whatsoever. the only thing you can do now, is accept [[whatever fate that is left for you|fate]].
you grab one of the unshaved bunnies thats close by and sit down cross-legged. you grasp the bunny by its head as you begin carefully shredding through past the fur and going deeper and deeper into the core of the disguised rogue.\n\n\nyou carve its skin into a strange symbol which just feels...right to you. \n\nyou take off the rest of its skin apart from your symbol and let it run free.\n\nas you watch it run around spraying blood everywhere, you just laugh at your handiwork and lay back looking at the sun.\n\nsigh....it's so....ni..ce...h.e...r....e...[[...|shave5]]
<<set $mean = "yes">>\n"SHUT UP BITCH I DON'T GOT TIME FOR YOU, NOW TELL ME WHERE YOU KEEP THE KEYS TO THIS PLACE" you yell in big al's face.\n\na hand taps you on the shoulder and you quickly spin around to face whoever did so. you see nothing but a 6-pack. looking up, you see a very very tall burly man. \n\nhe socks you directly in the face, breaking every bone in your head, as well as smooshing your brains together.\n\nwelp.\n\ni guess we gotta [[make a new one|Go]]...