-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You might not want to try these techniques at home." "Why not ?" asked someone from the back of the room. "Well... I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years. She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table & cabinets, often carrying a single item." the expert explained. "I suggested how she might improve the quality of service." "And did it work ?" the audience member persisted. "Well... actually yes. It used to take her 25 minutes to fix me breakfast. Now, I do it in eighteen." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? Teaching Math in 1970: A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M". The set "C", the cost of production, contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M" and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" for profits? Teaching Math in 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. Her cost of production is $80 and her profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20. Teaching Math in 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees? There are no wrong answers. Teaching Math in 1996: By laying off 40% of its loggers, a company improves its stock price from $80 to $100. How much capital gain per share does the CEO make by exercising his stock options at $80? Assume capital gains are no longer taxed, because this encourages investment. Teaching Math in 1997: A company out-sources all of its loggers. The firm saves on benefits, and when demand for its product is down, the logging work force can easily be cut back. The average logger employed by the company earned $50,000, had three weeks vacation, a nice retirement plan and medical insurance. The contracted logger charges $50 an hour. Was outsourcing a good move? Teaching Math in 1998: A laid-off logger with four kids at home and a ridiculous alimony from his first failed marriage comes into the logging-company corporate offices and goes postal, mowing down 16 executives and a couple of secretaries, and gets lucky when he nails a politician on the premises collecting his kickback. Was outsourcing the loggers a good move for the company? Teaching Math in 1999: A laid-off logger serving time in Folsom for blowing away several people is being trained as a COBOL programmer in order to work on Y2K projects. What is the probability that the automatic cell doors will open on their own as of 00:01, 01/01/00? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Charlie Brown Specials We'd Like to See A few years ago, Charlie Brown and the PEANUTS gang made a new friend who developed leukemia in an animated special entitled, WHY, CHARLIE BROWN, WHY? Recently, MetLife has put out a series of instructional pamphlets which feature the PEANUTS gang dealing with such issues as the loss of a loved one, writing a will, and dealing with a permanent disability. Now that Charlie Brown is dealing with important issues, how about some PEANUTS specials for the kids of the 90s? * We could learn about V.D. in, IT BURNS WHEN I PEE, CHARLIE BROWN. * Chuck and the Little Red-Headed Girl find out about unwanted pregnancy in, IT'S BLUE, CHARLIE BROWN! * Is Linus gay? Find out in, IT'S A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE, CHARLIE BROWN. * Explore the real problems of child abuse in America in, YOU MADE ME DO THAT, CHARLIE BROWN. * See how the PEANUTS gang deals with date rape in, NO MEANS NO, CHARLIE BROWN. * Discover a father's forbidden love in, IT'S OUR LITTLE SECRET, CHARLIE BROWN. * The PEANUTS gang gets a lesson in Ebonics in, IMO BUSTA CAP INYO ASS, CHARLIE BROWN. * What goes on in the mind of a serial killer? Discover the inner workings of Pig Pen's twisted psyche and meet his murderous alter ego, Mr. Clean in, GOD TOLD ME TO DO IT, CHARLIE BROWN. * Charlie Brown peddles his body for crack money while stealing Social Security checks and boosting automobiles in GO BLAME SOCIETY, CHARLIE BROWN. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------- Signs Technology has taken over your life ----------------------------------------- 1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write is letterhead. 2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz. 3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house -- only computers with laser printers. 4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card. 5. You disdain people who use low baud rates. 6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers --- and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head. 7. You use the phrase "digital compression" in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it. 8. You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the phrase "digital compression". Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it. 9. You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, but you have to look up your own social security number. 10. You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number," since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions that talk to other contraptions. 11. You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to your signature. 12. Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :-). 13. You back up your data every day. 14. Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store and you return with a rest for your mouse. 15. You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid. 16. On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels. 17. The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music rarely enters your mind. 18. You are able to argue persuasively the Ross Perot's phrase "electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses hand-drawn pie charts. 19. You go to computer trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit hall in advance. But you cannot give someone directions to your house without looking up the street names. 20. You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon. 21. You become upset when a person calls you on the phone to sell you something, but you think it's okay for a computer to call and demand that you start pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more information about the product it is selling. 22. You know without a doubt that disks come in five-and-a-quarter and three-and-a-half inch sizes. 23. Al Gore strikes you as an "intriguing" fellow. 24. You own a set of itty-bitty screw-drivers and you actually know where they are. 25. While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia surgeries, you compare mouse-induced index-finger strain with a nine-year-old. 26. You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up. 27. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires. 28. You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal. 29. You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different opinions about which is better -- the track ball or the track pad. 30. You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, my friend, technology has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good, that you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop. 31. You email this message to your friends over the net. You'd never get around to showing it to them in person or reading it to them on the phone. In fact, you have probably never met most of these people face-to-face. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A friend of a guy in the Nutrition School at Tufts was one of the lucky passengers onboard a Northwest Airlines flight to Boston during our recent hurricane "Bob". The captain did his best to skirt the edge of the storm, but it was a pretty rough ride just the same - rough enough that the flight attendants were ordered to strap themselves into their seats for about half an hour, and many of the passengers were putting the little plastic-lined bags in their seat pockets to good use. When the turbulence finally abated, the flight attendants unbuckled themselves, and the captain's voice came on over the intercom. "Well, folks, that was quite some ride, wasn't it?' But we came through it fine, just the way we always do, and I'm happy to report that it looks like the remainder of our trip should be much calmer. On behalf of myself and today's flight crew, I'd like to thank you very much for your calmness and cooperation, and extend our best wishes for a pleasant stay in Boston." "Jeez Man - whadda bitchin' ride'' Boy - I sure could use a cup of good strong coffee and a blow job, right about now'" As a stricken stewardess dashed up the aisle to the cabin to inform the captain that his intercom was still on, one of the passengers called after her, "Don't forget the coffee!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A priest and a nun are on their way back home from a trip when their car breaks down. They are unable to get it fixed, so they decide to spend the night in a hotel. The only hotel in the town has only one room available. Priest: Sister, I don't think the Lord would have a problem, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I'll sleep on the lounge and you have the bed. Nun: I think that would be okay. They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room. Ten minutes later... Nun: Father, I'm terribly cold. Priest: Okay, I'll get you a blanket. (He does) Ten minutes later... Nun: Father, I'm still terribly cold. Priest: Okay Sister, I'll get you another blanket. (He does) Ten minutes later... Nun: Father, I'm still terribly cold. I don't think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wife just for this one night. Priest: You're probably right...get up and get your own damn blanket. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES: During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555. Most dogs are immortal. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition even if you haven't been carrying any before now. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill -- just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare. Same with restaurants. Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames. The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK Stadium. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts -- your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage. No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -- unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside. An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. "What took you so long to answer?" "I was in bed." "What were you doing in bed this late?" "Getting a second opinion." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Chinese lady on holidays in London goes to the bank to change some Hong Kong Dollars into pounds. She asks what the exchange rate is and the teller says, "HK$12.50 for 1 British pound." She goes ahead and changes some money. The next day she needs some more pounds and goes back to the bank. This time the teller says, "HK$12.80 for 1 British pound." The Chinese lady says, "What's going on? Yesterday it was only $12.50 and now today it's $12.80???" The snotty british teller says. "Fluctuations." The Chinese lady replies, "Well, fuck you Caucasians too!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lines from Star Wars that can be improved if you substitute the word "Pants" for key words: We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down. The pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts. I find your lack of pants disturbing. Many Bothans died to bring us these pants. These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it. Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time! General Veers, prepare your pants for a ground assault. I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home. TK-421... Why aren't you in your pants? Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants. You are unwise to lower your pants. She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander. Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board. You look strong enough to pull the pants of a Gundark. Luke... Help me remove these pants. Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants. That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational! Luke.....I am your pants. A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master. Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this. Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness. Luke, search your pants. You know it is true. Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially one... Your sister! Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser. Short pants is better than no pants at all. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions while a woman rushed to help him. When she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, "It's all right honey, I've had a course in first aid." The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man's pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration. At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, "When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'll be over here." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. MacDonald's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there Scotty!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down...I think there's yet another wee one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a bonnie lass. "No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, lad...It seems there's yet another one besides!" cried the doctor. The Scot scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor. "Do ye think it's the light that's attractin' them?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The scene is a newspaper office. The editor says to one of his photographers, "There's a fire raging out of control west of town, and I want you to get out there fast. And above all, get some good shots. If that means you have to hire an airplane, just do it. Don't worry about the expense." So, the reporter calls the local FBO and orders a plane. He rushes out to the airport, spots a small aircraft with a young pilot in it, pulls open the door, jumps in and says to the pilot, "Let's go, take off." As directed, the pilot takes off, gets up to altitude, and the reporter then tells him, "See that fire raging to the west? I want you to fly over that and get down as close as you can." Incredulous, the pilot says, "You want me to fly over that fire?" "Sure!", the reporter says. "I am a photojournalist and that's why I am here--to take dramatic shots of the fire!" The pilot looks over with a quizzical look on his face and says, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A pretty girl is driving through the West. Her car runs out of gas, and an Indian comes along on a horse, gives her a ride to a gas station. Every few minutes he lets out a wild whoop that would curdle milk. Finally, he drops her off with a final Yaaaaa-Hooo! and gallops off. "My god!" says the gas station guy, "What the hell were you doing to that Injun to make him holler like that?" "Why, nothing," says the girl, "I just sat behind him with my arms around him, holding onto his saddle horn." "Lady," says the guy, "Indians don't use saddles." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- WHAT PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD LEARN ABOUT AMERICANS BY WATCHING "BAYWATCH" 1. American men and women spend 15 percent of their days running in slow motion along the beach. 2. Americans almost drown an average of two times each hour. 3. Despite the habit of breathing water, CPR always works and no one actually dies, except from cancer. 4. People in the U.S. look thoughtfully at the ocean for an average of 15 seconds after being told anything of any importance. 5. Americans never worry about getting enough to eat, but fat people are unreliable and often evil. 6. Most American women have abnormally large breasts that are worshiped via close-ups for an average of two minutes and thirteen seconds per hour. 7. When swimming in California, you are more likely to be attacked by jewel thieves or taken hostage by terrorists than you are to drown. 8. Most activity that takes place off the beach occurs in montages and lasts no longer than two minutes. 9. Although Americans, especially lifeguards, complain that they are poor, they all have expensive sports cars and luxurious homes. 10. Motorboats, unlike cars, will not talk back to David Hasselhoff. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in MIS" says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know." "Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone." The man below says "you must work in business." "I do" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Star Wars vs. Star Trek Top Ten Reasons Why the Star Wars Characters Would Kick Butt in the Star Trek Universe 10) In the Star Wars universe, weapons rarely, if ever, are set on "stun". 9) The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of twenty just to go into warp-- the Millennium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a Wookie. 8) After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess Leia still looked fresh and desirable-- after some Cardassian starvation and torture, Picard looked like hell. 7) Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action. 6) Luke Skywalker is not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters. 5) One word: lightsabers. 4) The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named Slave I. 3) The Death Star doesn't care if a world is class "M" or not. 2) Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire with one glance. 1) Picard pilots the Enterprise through an asteroid belt at one-quarter impulse power. Han Solo floors it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From a contest in which Baby Boomers were asked to tell Gen Xers how much harder it was in the old days: In my day, we didn't have mouses to move the cursor around. We only had the arrows, and if the up arrow was broken and you needed to get to the top of the screen, well, you just hit the left arrow a thousand times, dadgummit. (Kevin Cuddihy, Fairfax) In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In the winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction. (Bill Flavin, Alexandria) In my day, we didn't have hand held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated. (Jon Patrick Smith, Washington) In my day, we didn't have fancy high numbers. We had "nothing," "one," "twain" and "multitudes." (Elden Carnahan, Laurel) In my day, we didn't get that disembodied, slightly ticked-off voice saying 'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station and it was a bloody stump at the end. (Russell Beland, Springfield) In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him. (Sarah M. Wolford, Hanover) Back in the 1970s we didn't have the space shuttle to get all excited about. We had to settle for men walking on the crummy moon. (Russell Beland, Springfield) In my day, we didn't have days. There was only "time for work," "time for pray" and "time for sleep." The sheriff would go around and tell everyone when to change. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel) In my day, people could only dream of hitchhiking a ride on a comet. (David Ronka, Charlottesville) In my day, we didn't have fancy healthfood restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes drenched in melted fat from those animals. And we're all as strong as AAGGKK-GAAK Urrgh. Thud. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg) In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms. (Diana Hugue, Bowie) Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park) In the old days, nobody asked you to sign petitions. The sheriff just came to your house and told you "you was part of a posse." (Barry Blyveis, Columbia) In my day, we didn't have dogs or cats. All I had was Silver Beauty, my beloved paper clip. (Jennifer Hart, Arlington) Back in my day, "60 Minutes" wasn't just a bunch of gray-haired liberal 80 year old guys. It was a bunch of gray-haired liberal 60-year-old guys. (Russell Beland, Springfield, and Jerry Pannullo, Kensington) In my day, we didn't have Strom Thurmond. Oh, wait. Yes we did ... (Peg Sheeran, Vienna) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A business man was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant the question, "What is two and two?" The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was "Twenty-two." The second applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001. The next person was a lawyer. He stated that in the case of Jenkins v Commr of Stamp Duties (Qld), two and two was proven to be four. The last applicant was an accountant. The business man asked him, "How much is two and two?" The accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door and closed it then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk and said in a low voice.... "How much do you want it to be?" .....He got the job. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "The ever-growing size of software applications is what makes Moore's Law possible: If we hadn't brought your computer to its knees, why would you go out and buy a new one?" - Nathan Myhrvold (Microsoft Group VP) at ACM97 on planned obsolescence in the computer industry -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- July 30, 1998 The Top 12 Ways Life Would be Different If There Were No Vowels 12> Wht th fck knd f tpc s ths? 11> Nothing before nothing except after c? Sure, Teach. Whatever. 10> Cartoon strip characters limited to sleeping and swearing. 9> Sudden inability to pick out the Czech hockey players in the NHL. 8> Alex Trebek: still wealthy and famous. Pat and Vanna: living in a van down by the river and fighting tooth and Press-on Nail over dwindling supply of food. 7> As the price of Sesame Street stock plummets, Bert and Ernie are laid off. 6> Y, during interrogation, denies ever working for the deposed junta. 5> 19% less time on the crapper. 4> The Thomas Brothers' Map regional offices in Honolulu do some serious downsizing. 3> Now, *51* ways to leave your lover! Latest addition: "Sorry babe, but U and I are history." 2> Old MacDonald awakens to an eerie silence. and Top5's Number 1 Way Life Would be Different If There Were No Vowels... 1> President Clinton breathes a sigh of relief, since he never said he didn't have sex with Mnc Lwnsk. http:\\www.topfive.com