Tales From #k&p 1: What NOT to do on IRC!

Tales From #k&p:

No.1: WHAT NOT TO DO ON IRC

What started off as a normal chat rapidly went off the rails and into a chasm of weirdness.

Confused? You will be! The following becomes so bizarre that it is hard to follow! Read at your peril:

Session Start: Mon Oct 21 22:29:30 1996

*** Now talking in #k&p ***

DavidWill (willis@ads2-ts14.adsnet.com) has joined #k&p

<DavidWill> Yes!

*** MartinB sets mode: +o DavidWill

<MartinB> There ya go!

<DavidWill> ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

<MartinB> What?

*** DavidWill changes topic to "Martin is nifty!"

<MartinB> Er, thanks!

<DavidWill> Okay, what next?

<MartinB> hmm...

<MartinB> I dunno!

<MartinB> Do you like Sonic the Hedgehog games? Because I was wondering if you could do uneven terrain like that in TGF?

<MartinB> : )

<DavidWill> Nope. I got a Super Nintendo.

<MartinB> Did you put that Walkerton 37 title yesterday?

<DavidWill> One of them.

<MartinB> <Rikus>Spiffy!

<MartinB> That one

<DavidWill> There were quite a few of those!

<DavidWill> Yes.

<MartinB> Oh

<MartinB> That was funny !

<DavidWill> Wildfire's was funnier.

<MartinB> Did you make up 'Spiffy' or is it some USA slang that I wouldn't understand?! <DavidWill> No, its an old '70s kinda word. It really means something like "crisp and neat." <MartinB> Wildfire? The words of the day one?

<MartinB> Oh, okay!

<DavidWill> Basically, "Totally awesome, radical, and cool!"

<MartinB> I have a Sega Saturn too.

<MartinB> NiGHTS is SPIFFY!

<DavidWill> I've heard.

<DavidWill> I wanna Nintendo 64!

<MartinB> Hmm.

*** DavidWill changes topic to "<10 years later> <Rikus>Hey, David, in Locked 2001, Mr. Ball is blue! <David>Spiffy!"

<DavidWill> That's something like what WF wrote.

<MartinB> I was thinking of getting one but I think having the games cartridge-based is a big mistake

<MartinB> Cool!

<MartinB> Locked 5 looks pretty good.

<DavidWill> Actually, its good and bad. Cartridges run faster. And with an add-on that's coming later, they'll be able to hold as much stuff.

<MartinB> But from the screenshot it just looks like Locked 4

<DavidWill> Oh.

<MartinB> Yeah, I s'pose

<DavidWill> Did you see pictures?

<MartinB> Have you not seen the Locked 5 page at Rikus' dorm? If not, you should!

*** Philip (philipk@customs316.ipass.net) has joined #k&p

<MartinB> Yes

*** MartinB sets mode: +o Philip

<MartinB> The Locked 5 logo is good though

<DavidWill> I saw it, but it didn't have pictures.

*** MartinB changes topic to "<Rikus>Hey, in Locked 8 there is a Miss Ball! <WildFire>WTH?!" <DavidWill> So basically, it's a Locked 4 that scrolls...

<DavidWill> : )

<MartinB> Well, it looks that way. It'll probably be better than Locked 4. : )

<Philip> Hey, David

<Philip> i see WF is gone

<DavidWill> Yeah, Philip?

<DavidWill> Yes, he's a-left us.

<Philip> MISS BALL!!!!!

<Philip> Walkerton 3 is awesome

<DavidWill> Mistress Ball!

<Philip> Confucius say: Man who eat lit candle have burning indigestion

<MartinB> Oh dear.

<DavidWill> <Evil Wizard>Hey, Mr. Ball, how's the old "ball and chain"?

<MartinB> David: Page updated recently?

*** [-ToM-] (tomrl@ts0.erienet.net) has joined #k&p

<MartinB> Hey TomTheDJ!

*** MartinB sets mode: +o [-ToM-]

<[-ToM-]> hmmmm

<[-ToM-]> eh?

<[-ToM-]> hi

<MartinB> You are TomTheDJ, right?

<DavidWill> I put something on the SlySirs, page. Just another comic, that's all.

*** PKbrother (philipk@customs316.ipass.net) has joined #k&p

<MartinB> so there are 4 now?

<DavidWill> They're multiplying!!!!!!!!!

*** MartinB sets mode: +o PKbrother

<Philip> my brother Robert is here

<Philip> dont op him

<Philip> no!

<MartinB> y not?

<[-ToM-]> heh

<Philip> Robert is 4

<MartinB> HAHA!

<PKbrother> i wanna have good friends

<DavidWill> Hahahahahahaha!

<MartinB> Oo-kay!

<MartinB> : )

<Philip> thats what he told me to type

<MartinB> Oh.

<MartinB> Bizzare.

<DavidWill> Weird.

<PKbrother> here's what he says - "I love you guys with compooie games. you are cool" <DavidWill> Let's have some fun........

<PKbrother> oops compooies

<MartinB> I like the Java on your page, David

<DavidWill> I'm gonna change my name to Rikus!

*** DavidWill is now known as Rikus

<Philip> Robert is dumb

<Rikus> David?

<Philip> yeah, right, David

<Rikus> i am: rikus kras

<MartinB> ok

<Philip> i doubt it

<Rikus> i am much finished with the best klick & play game of all time: Locked 5

<[-ToM-]> hehehehehehehe

<MartinB> HAHAHAHA!

<Philip> you are willis@ads2-ts14.adsnet.com * David Willis

<MartinB> Well done Philip! You can use whois! : |

<Rikus> Hey!

<Rikus> No fair!

<Philip> be quiet

<Philip> i have known how to do that for ages

<MartinB> Oh Philip! IT was a joke!

<[-ToM-]> Rikus's IP # - 206.158.2.246

<[-ToM-]> heh

<MartinB> : )

<Philip> yesh

<Philip> it is platform/puzzl

*** Philip has quit IRC (Leaving)

<Rikus> Bye!

<PKbrother> sdf

<[-ToM-]> wooooooooooooo

<[-ToM-]> rofl

<PKbrother> huh?

<PKbrother> what is going on?

<PKbrother> I lost Philip control?

<MartinB> who knows, who cares?!

<PKbrother> resetting..

*** PKbrother is now known as Philip

*[-ToM-] jumps around. HEY

<MartinB> Hey.

<[-ToM-]> LALALALALALALALA

* Rikus is really cool.:-)

*** MartinB sets mode: -o Rikus

<MartinB> WOOPS!!!

<MartinB> EEK!

<MartinB> SORRY!

* [-ToM-] is funked up

*** MartinB sets mode: +o Rikus

<Rikus> Hey!

<MartinB> SOOOORY!

*** [-ToM-] sets mode: -ooo MartinB Philip Rikus

<Rikus> : )

<Rikus> That's okay.

*** [-ToM-] sets mode: +ooo MartinB Philip Rikus

<[-ToM-]> woops

<MartinB> Well that was fun Tom.

* [-ToM-] snickers

<Rikus> : )

<MartinB> I was trying to Ping 'Rikus', not deop!

*** Rikus is now known as DavidW

<MartinB> Hooray!

<DavidW> Well, that was fun.

*** Tom (tomrl@ts0.erienet.net) has joined #k&p

<DavidW> Tom!

<MartinB> GASP!

*** Philip sets mode: -ooo MartinB DavidW [-ToM-]

<Philip> hahahhaha!

<MartinB> Who is who?! Nobody can tell!

<DavidW> Hey!

<Philip> i am master

<Philip> sorry

*** DavidW is now known as Martin

*** Philip sets mode: +ooo Martin MartinB Tom

<MartinB> You are a very sad little child who gets cheap thrills out of deopping.

<MartinB> oops

<MartinB> : )

*** [TOM] (tomrl@ts0.erienet.net) has joined #k&p

<MartinB> uh oh

*** MartinB sets mode: -o Philip

<Philip> help

<MartinB> See, how do you like it?!

*** Tom sets mode: +oo [-ToM-] [TOM]

*** MartinB sets mode: +o Philip

<Martin> I'm getting dizzy.

<MartinB> R U?

<[-ToM-]> heh

<Tom> hoooo

<[TOM]> wooooooo

<[TOM]> everyone sing

<[-ToM-]> heh

* MartinB vomits

<Tom> hoooo

<Philip> help

<Martin> La la la la la

<[TOM]> wooooooo

<Philip> LALLALLA

* MartinB chokes

* Martin vomits again

* MartinB spits

<[-ToM-]> yeah yeah yeah

* Martin blows chunks

*** MartinB is now known as DavidW

*** Philman^ (philipk@customs316.ipass.net) has joined #k&p

<Martin> : )\

<DavidW> HeHe!

*** `TOM` (tomrl@ts0.erienet.net) has joined #k&p

<Martin> ha ha hah a!

*** [-ToM-] sets mode: +o `TOM`

<DavidW> Lets see if anyone notices!

<[-ToM-]> o hi davidw

*** Martin is now known as MartinB

<[-ToM-]> i didn't see you come in

<DavidW> HeHe!

<[-ToM-]> OOOOOOOH HO HO

<MartinB> I am a big weener!

* [-ToM-] is wacked today

<Philman^> hey, David, see you're pretending to be Martin

<DavidW> Hi, I'm David Willis, creator of Walkerton and all round completely spiffy guy! <MartinB> David is cool.

<Philip> Man, thats dumb

<Philman^> yeah?

<Philip> yeah.

<Tom> GRRRRRRRRRRR

<Philman^> oh, all right.

<[TOM]> GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

<`TOM`> GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

<Philip> good riddance.

<MartinB> I am Martin, creator of OMEGA IV!!

*** Philman^ was kicked by Philip (Philip)

<[-ToM-]> GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRR

<DavidW> WHAT THE HECK?! Three Toms, two Philips?!?!

<MartinB> And a partridge in a pear tree.

<DavidW> He He!!

<MartinB> HeHe!!

<[-ToM-]> o hal a hoo ya'll

*** Philman^ (philipk@customs316.ipass.net) has joined #k&p

<Philip> Yeah, Martin, good impression

<DavidW> Threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Toms, Twooooooooooooooooo Phils ---

<Philman^> SNORT

<MartinB> And a partridge in a pear tree!

*** ]tom[ (~tomrl@erienet.net) has joined #k&p

*** `TOM` sets mode: +o ]tom[

<[-ToM-]> hey toms

<DavidW> THE ROOM IS FULL OF TOMS?!?!?!!

<MartinB> ??

<Philip> yesh

<Philman^> TWO turtle-Philips,

<MartinB> Nosh.

<DavidW> AAAGGGHH!! The Invasion of the Toms!!!

<MartinB> ANd a partridge in a pear TREEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<DavidW> Woo.

<Philman^> Five, TOM GUYS

<MartinB> Doggy!

<Philip> LALALALA!

<DavidW> I am a Sly Sir.

<MartinB> ?

<DavidW> Doggy??

<[-ToM-]> brb

<DavidW> ok

<Tom> brb

<[TOM]> brb

<`TOM`> brb

<MartinB> Woo Doggy!

<DavidW> WOO DOGGY?? David, what's wrong with you!? : )

<]tom[> brb

<DavidW> OK!!!!

<MartinB> Man, I'm even scaring myself!

<MartinB> It's a funny farm in here!

*** MartinB is now known as Walkerton

*** Philip changes topic to "Mrs. Ball joins us in Locked 8! <Wildfire> SNORT!"

<[-ToM-]> lalalalala

*** DavidW is now known as Mr Ball

<Mr> Hi, I'm Mr. Ball.

*** Mr Ball is now known as MartinB

*** [TOM] was kicked by Philip (Philip)

*** MartinB sets mode: -o Philip

*** __TOM__ (gmtire@b1tchez.org) has joined #k&p

<MartinB> Leave Tom alone Philip!

<Philip> ok, sure!

*** [-ToM-] sets mode: +o __TOM__

*** Walkerton changes topic to "Locked 9: Mr and Mrs Ball are really the same person!" <Walkerton> ew!

*** [TOM] (tomrl@ts0.erienet.net) has joined #k&p

*** MartinB sets mode: +o Philip

*** Philip sets mode: +o Philman^

*** [-ToM-] sets mode: +o [TOM]

<MartinB> Yeek!

*** Philip is now known as Rikus

<Walkerton> Hey, Rikus!

<[-ToM-]> 6 toms yay!!!!!!

<MartinB> This is the weirdest ever chat!

<Walkerton> Oh, man....

<[-ToM-]> i split like bacteria

<MartinB> Tom: One is unbearable, but SIX!!!!!!

<Rikus> ok!!!!!

<Rikus> brb

<Walkerton> Not quite exponentially, though...

<Philman^> brb

<[-ToM-]> heh

<[-ToM-]> i outnumber you all

<Rikus> hey

*** MartinB changes topic to "Locked 13: Mr Ball is the Evil Wizard!"

<Walkerton> <Mr Ball>Take that, Evil Wizard! Ow! Ow!

<[-ToM-]> AHHHHHHH

<Philman^> WHOA - SIX TOMS!!!!!

*** Walkerton is now known as DavidW

<Rikus> sheesh.

*** Philman^ is now known as Rikus2

*** DavidW is now known as Rikus3

*** MartinB is now known as Rikus4

*** MartinB changes topic to "Locked 38: Mr Ball Signs up for Pro Wrestling!"

*** Toast (jensen@the-project.org) has joined #k&p

*** Philip3 (philipk@customs316.ipass.net) has joined #k&p

<[-ToM-]> hey toast

*** Rikus sets mode: +o Philip3

*** [TOM] has quit IRC (K-lined)

*** `TOM` has quit IRC (K-lined)

<Toast> hi

*** Rikus4 is now known as MartinB

<Toast> do you know how to read?

*** Rikus3 changes topic to "Locked 46: Mr Ball joins the cast of Friends!"

<Philip3> FIEND!

<MartinB> Bye all! It's been a 'hoot'!

<Toast> 372 - The policies are simple:

<Toast> 372 -

<Toast> 372 - No bots

<Toast> 372 - No Flooders

<Toast> 372 - No Clones

<Toast> 372 - No MORONS

<Toast> 372 - No Macarena

<Toast> 372 -

<Toast> 372 - Use of this server is a privilege and will be taken away from

<Toast> 372 - abusive sites.

<[-ToM-]> hmmmmmm

*** Toast (jensen@the-project.org) has left #k&p

*** Rikus3 has quit IRC (bye!)

<MartinB> Well he was nice!

<[-ToM-]> hmmmmmmmmmm

<Philip3> dfs

<[-ToM-]> thats sensible

*** Tom has quit IRC (Leaving)

<MartinB> I'm off! Later!

Session Close: Mon Oct 21 23:01:46 1996

Rules were broken that day. There are two very important lessons to be learned from this:

1. Absolutely NO MACARENA!!!

2. Be careful to follow the rules of IRC. Justice comes in the form of a lightly browned piece of bread!

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