Hey, this is your friend Darth Katana (also known as Meteorite Capacity or Blimpo Warrior) and I'm back with Videogame Fandatabase's newest fanfic, based on a six chapter masterpiece we created almost three years ago. We have been trying to write a sequel that did it justice, but alas, the beauty of the original fanfic was the lack of professionalism. Besides, even if I wanted it to be proper, the guys wouldn't stand for that. And so, I know this is against my ways, but get ready for the sloppiest fanfic of all-time!

....And I'm Cyberhick!!!! I'm not in this fanfic anymore, but me and Extended Player wrote the first ones, and we'll be helping Darth Katana write the new fanfic.....and we'll be helping write brand-new parts too!!! Anyway, I gotta go now, and enjoy our favorite fanfic!!!

Here comes my latest fanfic! 3...2...1...go!
Mario and Luigi are sailing the seven seas in an all beautiful boat, aside from the Halloween decorations in September. But Mario's headed to the beautiful Yoshi's Island, where it's summer all year long, but Luigi fell asleep on the job, much to Mario's dismay.
Mario: LUIGI! What did I tell you about-a sleeping on the wheel?
All of a sudden, they crash landed on Yoshi's Island! And then they noticed, Yoshi's Island is a dump, and they're all forced to stay there because their ship blasted into a million pieces! (inconvenient)

Mario and nearly every Nintendo character imaginable has been stranded on the island for five years!

Mario: This-a year I'm turning 57...
Luigi: This-a year I'm turning 56...
Yoshi: This year I'm turning 50 MILLION!!!
Mario and Luigi: Huh? Uh?
Yoshi: But that's just 16 in dinosaur years.
Mario and Luigi: Few, oh-ah Thank God.
Luigi: Yo, Mario, something feels lumpy on the ground.
Mario: That's 'cause you're fat-a! (eats a Twinkie)
Luigi: Fine, be that way. I'll find it myself.
Luigi produces a shovel and digs out a Shyguy.
Shyguy: Hi, Luigi! My name is, uh, Joe! I used to be in a hit boy band, but I decided to burry myself to avoid the paparazzi!
Mario: Mmm, pizza! I'll take a deep dish, Chicago-style with...
Shyguy: I WASN'T CHASED BY PIZZAS FOR YEARS, MARIO, AND DON'T REMIND ME! THE PIZZAS LEFT TO HORRASS THE BACKSTREET BOYS FIVE YEARS AGO!!!
Mario: Oh, what band are you from, anyway?
Shyguy: Let's drop it. (sees Samus) Hi, Samus! I'm Joe the Shy...
Samus: I know, I remember you. You're Darth Katana's stupid little assistant from that last fanfic.
Shyguy: Ssh! That one isn't even on the internet anymore!
Samus: Yeah, your point?
Shyguy: We don't want Darth Katana being begged to bring 'em back!
Samus: Nobody would do that! Hey readers, those fics were horrible!
Shyguy: Speaking of Mr. Katana, I called him over. He should be coming in a huge seaworthy craft any minute now!
Yoshi: (insane voice) BOAT, BOAT, GIMMIE!
Shyguy: No, Yoshi. He isn't coming for a million hours.
Samus: We halfta wait for a million hours???
Yoshi: Good thing I'm a dinosaur, that's like six hours for me. ... SIX HOURS, WHAT AM I SAYING!!?
Mr. Game and Watch conveniently leaves his well-furnished cabin, and says: I hear you halta wait for a million hours! Well, would any of you like a treat while you're waiting?
Yoshi: TREAT!!!
Shyguy: TWEAT!!!
Mario: TREAT-A!!!
Luigi: TREAT, BABY!!!
Samus: What kind of treat?
Mr. Game and Watch: Delicious lemonade! Kirby, you're coming with me, it'll only take six hours.
Samus: We halfta wait for six hours?!
Yoshi: Good thing I'm a dinosaur, that's like six minutes to me ... SIX MINUTES, WHAT AM I SAYING?!?
Shyguy: Oh, that one's a classic!
In Mr. Game and Watch's cabin, that conveniently has a kitchen inside, the black body of pixels and the amethyst body of Hostess worked together to create delicious lemonade. Actually, Kirby was doing most of the work but Mr. G&W was keeping him out of trouble, and that was already hard enough.
Mr. G&W: I'm getting a little tired of spelling my entire name, let alone helping you, so I'm going to be resting. In the mean time, you follow the instructions on page 52 to make yummy lemonade.
When Mr. G&W said "yummy", he sounded like Ben Stein imitating Rachael Ray. In any case, he was gone and Kirby was all alone. He noticed an old Cheerio that had obviously been in milk on the table that he was making lemonade on, and being the glutton that he is, he inhaled the Cheerio, and created a tornado that hit the cookbook and flipped it to page 65, "Love Potion with Extra Garlic!"

Meanwhile, outside, Yoshi was singing a song about the mullet haircut to Mario, Luigi and everyone else present.
Yoshi: (singing) Do you got a mullet, a mullet going on...
Samus: Please shut up, Yoshi. You've sung that song ten hundred million times by now.
Yoshi: I'm going to keep singing it until I get my lemonade. (singing) Now, remember, a mullet is a haircut, not a fish. Now bounce with me! Do you got a mullet, a mullet going on, and if you got a mullet, there's no need to hide. All you need, it's just so plain to me, that all you need is mullet pride. Do you got a mullet, a mullet going...
Mr. G&W finally came in with a tray of lemonade glasses.
Kirby: Delicious lemonade for everyone!
Yoshi and Samus: Ooh...
Mr. G&W: Sorry, Yoshi and Samus, or Samus and Yoshi, but according to the rules and regulations of Game & Watch Bravery Net, only old hacks and cute helpers are allowed to drink delicious lemonade.
Mario: Is there any alcohol in 'em? Yum!
Mr. G&W: Sorry, Mario, but they just wrote so many rules because they like hearing themselves talk. Anyhow, drink up!
Yoshi: Well, technically, seeing as I'm so adorable and I'm Mario's slave, I could have some, but I strive to help people, so I won't.
Samus: Uh, thanks, Yosh, but the rest of us are thirsty! You just go ahead, I'd rather have one person quenched.
Mario: But what about the poor, thirsty Nintendogs?
Mr. G&W: Oh, all of you youngers and all of you non-tiny assistants will halfta wait for us dots and hacks to have our fun.
Luigi: Are you sure we shouldn't mix things up?
Mr. G&W: That's right. Check it, we're gonna mix things up, yo. We're all going to have our drinks except Yoshi and Samus.
Luigi: No, I meant the drink! It's from concentrate!
Mario: OK, OK, OK, fine! Now can we drink our drinks?
Luigi: No, Mario. You forgot about the 1-2-3.
Mario: Oh, great! Not the 1-2-3!
Mr. G&W: Oh, you mean the drinking countdown? Great idea, I have an internet pal who has something to say about the 1-2-3. He says that it's...never mind, it's an insult. Anyway...
Mario: Good Lord, just get to the point...
Everyone except Yoshi and Samus: 1-2-3, go!
All who drank the lemonade falls over, with the mouths of Samus, Yoshi, Kirby and Mr. Game & Watch dropping.
Mr. G&W: Kirby, you blubbery (insert your favorite explative here) You killed them! Throw up that Cheerio right now!
Kirby: OK, if you insist.
Mr. G&W: On the second thought...
It was too late. Kirby spewed all over his less colorful (well, except his language, that beats Kirby's by a mile) master, and in response Mr. Game and Watch kicked his (explative here).
Mr. G&W: I meant in the outhouse!
Kirby: But there's no Purell in there, and it smells really bad! And the toilets ahead are under construction, with no sign to warn you! And there's this snake I recognize from Nick Jr., and he always tells me the doors are unlocked, and teases me when they aren't, and then I make a big mess when I accidentally...
Mr. G&W: Shut up, shut up, just shut up! I'm going to clean my putrid feet, clean your putrid body, and just hurry up before these poor thirsty people wake up and fall right back down.
Kirby babeled like Pingu and reluctantly followed him. But Mr. G&W (hard name to spell constantly) didn't notice that everyone was slowly waking up. Every single (and married, but that isn't what I meant) man on the island had Mini Swirlz in their eyes, and were drooling slightly. Samus and Yoshi just watched them, worried.
Mario gets up, as if sleepwalking and goes into the bathroom, that, miraculously, IS ACTUALLY UNLOCKED. Wow, that could only happen in a fanfic! Yoshi rather impolitely puts his invisible ear on the door, he can hear Mario singing a Led Zeppelin song.
Yoshi: Wow, that could only happen in a fanfic!
Mario comes out, with his fly undone and his hair crazy, he has his toothbrush in his mouth. He walks over and sees the other guys unconcious. He says "huh" more like that Bob dude from Kablam! and takes his toothbrush out of his mouth. He hits them all on the head with his brush, and they all get up. At first angry with him, Mario explains some sort of plan in caveman language. Then he points at Samus, kind of like when the Ghosts were talking to each other in "Pac-Man World 2". Then they all say: Ooh, Samus!
Samus: What happened to them?
Yoshi: They do have a point, that new shiny suit from "Metroid Prime" looks good on you.
They were all walking to her, bubbles around their head more like Felix the Cat after he went to the Whoopee Club. Mario tripped, and the others walked on him, not showing any sign of noticing him on the floor.
Crazy music from movies starts playing!
Samus: Oh, thanks for the cute little plot twist, pal.
Well, what would you rather have? A BORING FANFIC?
Samus: Nothing like this happened in "Big Red".
You have a point, but, I guess that I'm not as skilled at writing as Jim, uh, oh forget it! I'm not going to stall the crazy males any longer than I have to.
Mario: That's a relief, all the lemonade is gone.
You're nuts, remember?
Mario: Oh, yeah. Thanks for the reminder, I might get fired this way.
Ahem, anyway, Yoshi, who, although green, was not a zombie, was Samus' only hope, she said: Help me, Yoshi-wan Kenobi! You're my only dope! Yoshi, I need to ride you!
Yoshi: To where?
Samus: Somewhere else!
Yoshi: OK, I've been curious for all my life about the other side of the island, with no trees for shade, even though I've only been here for a few hours! Anyways, here we go!
Samus mounted onto Yoshi, and said: Are you sure you shouldn't go somewhere .. EEELLLLSSSSSEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
Yoshi ran to the other, not shaded side of the island, and the mob chased after him, partly because of their love for Samus, and partly also because I need to give her a talking-to about being professional.
Moreover, the lovesick men, the conquerer of Metroids and the conquerer of the snack aisle at Safeway reached a dead end. Luckily, the hot sun generated a mirage. Not just any mirage, but a mirage of babes in a hot red sports car. Every female character (besides Samus, of course) was in the car. All of the men's attention went to the large quantity of chicks. Peach said to Mario: Hey there, musculeman!
Mario: MAMA-MIA!
Donkey Kong finally spoke: Sorry, losers, but I'm takin' this here sports car. I need to stop by Walmart and get a new bro (if you don't get the joke, don't ask), and then I'm takin' the babes down to Funkytown. And with that, Donkey Kong got in by the steering wheel.
Ribbon: Oh, Donkey Kong! Am I hot enough for you, big boy?
The word "Donkey Kong" is hard to spell over and over, and so we will refer to him as DK whenever it's convenient. Man, it doesn't pay to abbreivate everything and then halfta go into explanations. At least it works for Rachael Ray: If you were 20 years older! Then we'd talk!
Ribbon: Ooh, I love that lumberjack attitude.
Daisy: Yeah, it's like speaking bean dip into our ears.
Donkey Kong (I mean DK, I hate doing this!): He he he...
"DK" (remind me to call him that, d'oh did it again) got ahold of the wheel, and all the girls say, and all the girls say: No, no, no, no, no, no! Don't try to drive!
Donkey Kong drives into a lake, while Mario and the other men follow. Suddenly, the mirages disappear.
Mario: Whah, my poor Peach disappeared, whah, she was never real. Oh, well! I guess I'll just halfta visit Paris Hilton .. visiting hours at the Carl's Jr. correctional center are almost over!
Peach suddenly appears and says seductively: Ooh, gained a few pounds huh? and then disappears once again, much to Mario's disapointment.
Just then, Mr. Katana's ship appears in the water. Inside you can hear a rap song. Darth Katana came out and headed directly to Mario.
Katana: Yo, Mario. Your mom from that DiC show had a spill at Desert Land and lost a life. She wanted me to come over and babysit.
Mario: Since when does mom go to the dunes?
Katana: It looks like there's alot you don't know about, Mario. And I thought you'd be remotely disappointed, so I have a little surprise.
Princess Peach came out of the ship, and Mario shrugged.
Mario: The blazing heat's gotten to your heads. I been there, buddy. That ain't the real Peach, only a mirage.
Luigi: Mario, just in case that is the real Peach, don't try anything like that sleazbag from "Kangaroo Jack".
Mario: Gotcha.
Peach: Hey, Mario, this time I'm for real!
Mario: Nah, you're a fake.
Luigi: No, that's the real Peach! The other one sounded like that girl in our 80's show, this one sounds like Princess Sally!
Mario: The bubble is not reality, it's inside your head, Luigi. Oh, yeah! (If you don't get it, then whah! Everyone forgot the '90s!)
Luigi: Don't push it, crazed Eiffel 65 fan, you're breath stank!
Katana: And just so the rest of you wouldn't get jealous (every chick who appeared in the sportscar runs out of the boat) I got you guys some too, am I a good friend or what?
Mario shrugs: Or what. I'm getting blue, dee baa dee, and also very humiliated, by the fact that my brother and the guy who stole my old girlfriend from Brooklyn are actually buying into this crap! If you don't believe me, I'll show you.
Luigi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mario: Narrator, he's getting his lecture, right?
Shyguy: Oh, that's a classic!
Samus: A "classic"? Already?
Mario: OK, time for me to prove something once and for all.
The real dim brainy takes Peach's crown off and replaces it with his "M" hat, and then he takes her into the shade.
Mario: Ha! Peach impersonator! That'll show you to goof with a plumber brain, oh yeah! (dancing like crazy)
Luigi: Umm, Mario...
The real slim plumber poked the real fat plumber's shoulder, and then he opened his eyes to see that, the crown was still there.
Katana, Yoshi and the others laughs.
Katana: (smirking) Well, hello Princess Peach!
Yoshi: May I take your crown, sir?
To make matters worse, Peach looked either really sad or really mad (well, I halfta make plot twists with negativity, don't cha know?)
Luigi: No time for negative, you gotta be positive.
Whatever, GREEN. Anyway, Mario chased Peach out of the shade.
WARNING! WARNING! SUPER WARNING! Kids, don't try this at home!
Mario hit himself on the head with a brick that broke on his head, and said: OoOoh, Peach. I think we both saw that. Wanna mouth-to-mouth?
Peach: Why did you do that?!?
Mario: Well, I was on that show that rhymes with "back sass".
Peach: Only dirty men go on that show!
Mario: I thought you liked lumberjacks, they're dirty men!
Peach chases Mario with a frying pan all over the island!!!!

Later that day, Wario stole Katana's ship with every chick inside and they were quite happy about being there, much to the intense anger of (insert a bad Eminem pun here). And then, Darth Katana made everyone dinner while Yoshi cleaned the dishes with his tongue, while Kirby and that pixelated dude went out meat hunting. And after a hard day, it was time to...

Katana: ~Yawn!!!~ Well, I'm tired now, time to hit the hack, troops!
Samus: Wouldn't that be "hit the hay"?
Katana: Whatever!

That night, at 2:00 AM, Samus was having trouble getting to sleep.

Samus: Thanks for commenting, buddy. (thoughts) How am I to sleep, so many questions. Oh why, oh why? Why does Captain Falcon say my name in his sleep, WHY DOES MARIO SLEEP RAW LIKE A SHEEP?!? Why is Yoshi talking during his rest...
Yoshi: I ain't leavin' California, I ain't got no pick-up truck. And besides, Dr. Marvin, I got dis french pea on my head.

Eventually, Samus got to sleep.
Samus: Read that text above me! COOL!

			-=- The End of Chapter 1 -=-
   -=- A fanfic by Darth Katana, Cyberhick and eXtended Player -=-

Ok, that's the fanfic (oh yeah!!!!) I hoped you enjoyed it. This is eXtended Player, with cyberhick and Darth Katana!!!