World Of Explore PRO Edition (ordered by Sergio Cornaga)

spiral's picture

Unseen, a delivery bot arrives at your front door. It deposits a package through your door- if you didn't before, you have a handy mailbox slot now. A screeching, robotic voice begins to blare.

"You have NEW MAIL, Sergio Cornaga! Enjoy, and farewell... Beep boop."

Open the parcel upwards, and inside is a brand new copy of "WORLDLY ADVENTURES UPON THE FORSAKEN AGES OF KEEN KNOWLEDGE, PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY, AND EXTERIOR EXPLORATION [EXPERT PROFESSIONAL USER EDITION FOR HOME USE ONLY]", known as "World of Explore PRO Edition" for short-hand/case. What a day it is to recieve such a fantastic thing!!

Also included is a letter... What could it say? Well, the following:

"Hello valued (CUSTOMER NAME),

"This copy is registered to USER ID#100000000000000, that is to say, you! Your purchase code can be found inside as well, which necessary to pass the state of the art DRM (Digit Retention Multitasker) that WoE PRO Edition includes to counter rampant piracy. No user input is required, for it (or, lack thereof) will be automatically detected. We hope you have a good customer experience. Complaints can be directed to your window.

"To re-brandish the benefits of upgrade from ShareWare "Worldly Explorations Of Joy" to the the PRO Edition you are now a proud, correct owner of, here is a complete list of benefits:

  • 6 New characters to play as, bringing the total to 12!
  • 3 New "sub-zones", one in each area. Explore them all today!
  • Expansive, all-encompassing soundtrack to fit your many moods.
  • More than 50 different personalities to meet and greet and learn from!
  • Advanced DRM to make sure nobody can break into your unique copy.
  • AND MORE! Pay $4999.99 by mail to get a secondary unlock code for extra content!

"Thank you dear (CUSTOMER NAME) for your purchase! And remember, DO NOT LET ANYBODY ELSE PLAY IT FOR THAT WILL BE A BREACH OF CONTRACT AND NOT TOLERATED. Thank you again for supporting this Wonders of Edutainment production (executively co-produced by all lowercase, jery nail).

"PS. We greatly appreciate your patience in waiting two weeks 500 days 1 year, 11 months, and 18 days for this amazing package!"

Hmm. Well, alright. Let's pop the disc in the computer and see what happens next...

Made For: 
An event


sergiocornaga's picture

Yay, it finally arrived!

Yay, it finally arrived! It's truly tragic that I am the only person legally capable of enjoying this. I had a lot of fun investigating the DRM, but it seems uncrackable... no matter what I do, the software is in my name (or it doesn't run at all).

I really appreciated how you remixed the soundtrack. Building interior scenes was a great way of expanding the original game! Though, I must admit, I ordered this expecting the ability to "augment" my character "on the fly". Should I purchase a secondary unlock code in order to fulfil my dream of becoming a skirted train driver with five arms, two feet, and some kind of ambiguous bathtub lower body attachment? I will save a dollar a day and hopefully in 2031 my fantasies will become realities!

spiral's picture

the story continues

You've spent almost two years finding your way to this location. Today is the day...

mkapolk's picture

I didn't play this,

I didn't play this, naturally. I had to watch it over the shoulder of my cousin, who is also named Sergio Cornaga. I got a really nice Mario Is Missing feeling from it. I can't pinpoint why that is (apart from the totally flat sidescrolling through cities and talking to lots of strangers) or why that's important, but it made me feel really happy.

spiral's picture

Thank you for following the

Thank you for following the legal letter!!

I've never actually taken a good look at Mario Is Missing before but I think I get it too. Mario Is Missing feels like what I'd probably end up with making here, if I had unlimited time + resources haha.