When I go back I feel like I’m haunting my own past

fizzhog's picture
Game File: 

This 'game' is a failure. In fact it's a trainwreck. Oh wait ... this is 'Glorious TRAINWRECKS' - Hurrah! It's a failure in that it's a 'kitchen sink' game, i.e. I threw everything in there including the kitchen sink. It's hugely overloaded with symbolism and 'messages' but any meanings such as there are veer off into obscurity and being overly personal. So it's a failure in that I don't think it communicates at all well. It's very much an improvised game; I started out with a vague idea of wanting to make a 'walking simulator' but I had a jumping mechanic that I found relaxing from messing around with settings in Clickteam Fusion and jumping is surely more fun than walking so then I thought what would it be like to make a 'jumping simulator' or 'purposeless platformer'? All there is to it is jumping around and looking at what there is to see, unlocking more 'memories' the longer you play. There is an ending if you play long enough. Despite my reservations I upload it anyway as I thought some here might find elements of it to be of interest - so if you're up for a purposeless platformer that combines visual overload with a personal zine then here you go.

Images used are a mixture of my own efforts and material from Pixabay, flickr and the Digital Comics Museum. All the material I've taken from those places is useable without attribution as far as I'm aware as I was checking the license for each image as I found them. Thanks to all those people who put up material on those sites for others to use. Otherwise I hope any pilferings would fall under fair use. Some animations were made using 3D models from 3DRT. Sound is edited from public domain sounds on Freesound.

Controls are A and D for left and right and W for jump. I found that if moving upwards through the environment you hold down W and alternate A and D you can get a nice relaxing rhythm going. Use Space key during the ending sequence.

Made For: 


spiral's picture

this was a very nice

this was a very nice experience! I like the collage aspect of the background design. the jumping is quite pleasing.

through the sharp platform colours and wonky clickteam physics*, I'm reminded of messhof's old "punishment" platform games. I was going to find an example video on yt but 90% of the results are just guys screaming in frustration at the camera while they play so like, nevermind.

* I can tell it's using the built-in platform movement, which means, for anybody who doesn't know, that when the player hits against the side of a platform while in mid-air, they will be unable to continue moving in that direction until they release and re-press the key, or hit the ground. it makes it easy to slightly mess up a jump near the top of the platforms, and fall all the way down again!

- jessie

Kate B's picture

I like the nonstandard

I like the nonstandard control schemes in your games. the floaty, icy controls of this character made them, and the game, more interesting to play. I found that I had to approach jumps with more care due to sliding about so fast. I also notice that if you miss a jump you have no choice but to fall all the way back down, since you can't build momentum in the air.

I also like the overwhelming music and special effects like leaving a contrail while moving. Felt trippy.

It's a looong looong way to the top of the world and I felt accomplished when I got there. I didn't know how to view memories or what they did but the fact I kept finding new stuff in places I'd been suggests to me that each memory appears on the map?

I'm unable to trigger the ending with space. Not sure if that's me or you

Kate B's picture

wait I found the ending. I

wait I found the ending. I collected more stuff

fizzhog's picture

Cross post

The game starts with just the background animation. Each time you collide with one of the flying spheres and see the 'Memory Unlocked' message then one of the memories (fading image or animation) is revealed. I was unclear in what I wrote about the ending (now edited). You use the space key during the ending. You reach the ending when you have unlocked all the memories; there are a manageable number, you should be able to 'catch' sufficient spheres in ten or fifteen minutes of play or longer depending on how long you want to spend looking at things. Once you have found all the memories a new message will be shown and the spheres will cease.

quasiotter's picture


fizzhog, i really enjoy your approach to making things. i'm not you so i don't know how you come up with things, but i really appreciate it. this was a weird experience because this apparently is personal and so i'm constructing your personality based on these things. it's super vague and i love that. i don't really have any experience with anything you have here which makes me realize we're all living in our own universes. i really love personal art and knowing this is such i really enjoy this