Squalid Space Squash

spiral's picture


(playing it online would be the best option)


You are an experimental MOTIVATING SPACE GUN, developed by the FBI (French Butter Investigators) to give space soldiers more enthusiasm in fighting off the horrid GREEN GATTLEBLAST BUGS that are slowly infesting every corner of the galaxy. With your give and take rewards, you were supposed to give J. CITIZEN support in fighting off dummy BUGS, but unfortunately they found out about you and started invading the compound - now you and J. CITIZEN will have to fend them off lest the only existing prototype for the MOTIVATING SPACE GUN is destroyed!


Use the SDWA or ARROW KEYS to move around. J. CITIZEN is so scared of the GREEN GATTLEBLAST BUGS that he will not be able to do more than hang on to you
LEFT CLICK the MOUSE to tell J. to fire a bullet out of you. How many bullets you can fire at any given moment depend on how well J. has been fighting against BUGS.


SCORE is, well, your score. Every new power of 10 reached sets the bullet count back to 1 - double that score for 2 bullets, triple it for 3, and so on. This system is meant to reward combatants for great achievement, and subsequently give them more challenge when they perform well.
HEALTH is how many more hits J. CITIZEN can take before expiring, leaving you helpless against the damn BUGS! Every 1000 points gained gives J. more confidence, allowing him to take another hit.
BULLETS tells you straightfowardly how many shots can be made at once.
MONSTER HUNGER is a rating of how ravenous the BUGS have gotten - as it increases, so does the speed of BUGS, how well they can track you, and how many points killing one is worth.
MONSTERS ALIVE is a convenient counter of what you are currently up against.


1-80: You couldn't even kill a single GREEN GATTLEBLAST BUG? Either the MOTIVATING SPACE GUN is a failure, or YOU are!
81-1000: OK job - if you're a monkey
1001-5000: Good work, J. must be really feeling the flow!
5001-10000: You made it as far as many would be expected too
10001+: Congratulations!
20000+: Wow, that was quite a stretch!
30000+: You must be cheating...

Event Created For: 
Made For: 
An event


Smedis2's picture

Meh, it feels like a

Meh, it feels like a slightly edited version of the default Construct game.

Me, Lin, and MNO have a secret project coming up. Don't expect us to leak any info about it though.
(Unless we're feeling generous.)


Yeah, OBVIOUSLY that's because you don't see... Don't you SSEEEEEEE it? Like, you have to really get a feel for it.. and you can't just jump in.. you have to READ THE PLOT... Here's a Hint: SCROLL UP.. Like once you get a feel for the plot, then you have the atmosphere, and on sleep deprived days, you can really feel like AWW CRAP GOTTA RUN... this isn't one of those agmes where things are simply handed to you... THINGS ARE TUFF... like TIM RUFF TUFF. And like, you know, sometimes you can get a break by sitting on the sideline and shoot east,, but you won't live doing that forever, but once you get to a certain point you won't do good either... It's really scary... Uhh, the sound is ominous, like sometimes you feel like you're there... and sometimes you feel like you're leaving there... the bullets aren't too loud.... but the monsters... they're like REALLY HNGRY

You have to feed them.. NO WAIT DONT FEED THEM...

5/5 but I guess that's cuz like I'm the mno fan d00d so you shouldn't just take my word for it and experience it through these eyes... you should experience it through your own... or a playthrough video...

Or even better... Invite a friend over to play this game and watch him play it... He'd be your decoy boy... or girl.. That way you have experienced it... and if you're too afraid of survival.. you can put that sponsitility to your house guest... just like, make sure you give them din din for it... cuz they're brave sir and/or ma'am!

I like elk

Smedis2's picture



Me, Lin, and MNO have a secret project coming up. Don't expect us to leak any info about it though.
(Unless we're feeling generous.)

Lynx's picture


I found the odd rotating movement made it easier to dodge at times.

Smooth game play.

Good work!