The 100-in-1 Klik & Play Pirate Kart CALL FOR METADATA

SpindleyQ's picture

UPDATE: FINAL SUBMISSION IS HERE. Kirk, I'm sorry but Girl From Ipanema plays through all your Java games now. I might fix that this afternoon, but I think I'm ready to post the link at TIGSource!



UPDATE: It was a long evening, but the beta-test copy of the Klik & Play Pirate Kart should be showing up at this link within ten minutes or so. Please make sure I didn't screw anything up. If I did, post a comment and I will fix it for the final version. Also, I HAVE NO INFORMATION FROM EUDAIMON AND THEPRESTON! Get this shit to me IMMEDIATELY. Thanks. If you haven't yet submitted screenshots, GET THEM TO ME RIGHT AWAY. I'm compiling this tomorrow afternoon and then shipping it off.


CONGRATULATIONS, EVERYONE! This weekend was legendary. I never thought when I dreamed this up that we'd actually hit 100 games, but we actually got to 103. (There's a download link to the compiled collection on the event page, if you want it for voting purposes.)

Now, there's still the small matter of wrapping this up in a delicious package for submission. To really spice things up, I could use some more information than just your handle and the title of your games! So comment on this post with the following info:

NAME: You can use your real name, a pseudonym, a fake company name, your handle, your real name with your handle in the middle -- whatever you want to show up beside your games.
PICTURE: Again, this can be a photograph, your avatar, company logo, it's up to you. Please just use a link rather than embedding an image so the page doesn't get huge.
BIO: A short paragraph with your superhero origin story, or you can talk about your games, or how you were beaten as a child, or whatever.

For each of your games:
NAME: So I know what game you're referring to
DESCRIPTION: Just one or two sentences describing the game.
GENRE TAGS: "nsfw" is an important one for a couple of them, but just some words that I can sort by. Try to look at what other people are using, but don't be afraid to have a little fun with these.
LEVELS: If applicable, the number of levels in your game, so that people don't shut off, say, Metal Axe Warriors, thinking they've seen everything when they've only gotten to the first screen.
SCREENSHOT: There's no way I'm taking screenshots of all 100 games myself, so make a good one and upload it someplace. Again, links rather than inline images please.

Finally, perhaps most important:
NOMINATIONS FOR GREATNESS: Name some games (that aren't your own) that really stand out to you as games that the people judging our submission should not miss. 103 KnP games is a fucking lot of shit to wade through, but there are some great games in there that we should be proud of. So let's show them off!

We are going to kick SO MUCH ASS you guys. Thank you so much.

dessgeega's picture

ME

ME
name: dessgeega
picture: here
bio: dot matrix dominatrix

GAMES
name: spank your pussy
description: your pussy's been naughty. she needs to be spanked.
genre tags: pussy, spanking
levels: just the one
screenshot: here

name: defend the moon
description: the moon is under seige! take aim at the invaders!
genre tags: aiming, shooting, space invasions
levels: the one
screenshot: here

name: here comes the judge
description: danmaku-like bullet dodging.
genre tags: shooting, dodging, law
levels: one
screenshot: here

i can't recommend any because i havn't played any besides my own. i'm waiting for the finished anthology, so i can play them all in one long stretch! so get busy!

dessgeega's picture

so now that i've played them

so now that i've played them i like laser land, money power sex fame and shakespeare shakespeare revolution.

My games

-NAME: Matthew “Shapermc” Williamson
-PICTURE: Ok, I have a few options since I have a few games!
Me being me: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/170/385104225_82347df139_m.jpg
Me being SEXHAY: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/166/362047825_40b9d241d1_m.jpg
Me being Goofy: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/21/29331157_b172529f1a_m.jpg
Me playing Guitar: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/50/135665277_1153f2b085_m.jpg
Me being cautious: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/179/434055934_d545ab098d_m.jpg
-BIO: I am the creator of The Gamer’s Quarter, an independent videogame magazine focusing on first person writing. His work has been featured on MTV.com, 1up.com, Chatterbox Radio, Entdepot, and the Fatpixels Radio Podcast. Every game created for this event has a moral, and is very B.

GAMES
NAME: Sky is Falling: http://www.shapermc.com/GAME/SkyFall.rar
DESCRIPTION: Do your best to inform the other fauna of the condition of the sky!
GENRE TAGS: Bugs, Animal, Lizards, Sky, Falling.
LEVELS: 1.
SCREENSHOT: Uhh, I can’t :(.

NAME: Sad Old Man: http://www.shapermc.com/GAME/SadOld.rar
DESCRIPTION: Don’t be so sad old man, do something about it!
GENRE TAGS: Old age, elderly, geriatric, Pirates, Horses, Dolls
LEVELS: 4 – ish?
SCREENSHOT: Man, you KNOW you can take screen shots!

NAME: Kick the Habbit (you addict!): http://www.shapermc.com/GAME/Kick%20The%20Habbit.rar
DESCRIPTION: Can’t get off the smack? Well, work harder at it then!
GENRE TAGS: Drugs, Women, B&E, Maze
LEVELS: 3 – ish?
SCREENSHOT:

NAME: Outrun the Ball: http://www.shapermc.com/GAME/OutrunTheBall.rar
DESCRIPTION: Outrun the Ball chasing you!
GENRE TAGS: Ball, Run, Platforms, Swordfish, Dutch Houses
LEVELS: 6-ish?
SCREENSHOT:

NAME: Collect 100 Jems: http://www.shapermc.com/GAME/100Jems.rar
DESCRIPTION: You know you want to, it’s compulsory! The music is completely intentional.
GENRE TAGS: Platforms, Penguins, Pirates
LEVELS: 4
SCREENSHOT: Seriously?

NOMINATIONS FOR GREATNESS: I haven’t played more than a very few of these but the ones which were kind of great are: Here comes the Judge, Slide Puzzle Insanity, Dueling Sandwiches, Preggers!

SpindleyQ's picture

"I am the creator of The

"I am the creator of The Gamer’s Quarter, an independent videogame magazine focusing on first person writing. His work has been featured on MTV.com, 1up.com, Chatterbox Radio, Entdepot, and the Fatpixels Radio Podcast."
Is this intentional? Because at first glance it's just an unintentional shift from first to third person, but then with the "focusing on first person writing" bit the error is kind of hilarious.

Blargh! It was just a copy

Blargh! It was just a copy and paste job where I changed my name to "I" and didn't really read the rest :(

Six's picture

shapeshots

Here they are, since Shaper is apparently a lazy bastard?

Sky is Falling
Sad Old Man
Kick the Habbit
Outrun the Ball
100 Jems

I think Sky is Falling is my favorite of his games, but Sad Old Man comes close.

Swimmy's picture

Info

Name: Swimmy
Picture: Aquí.
Bio: Yes, that's really my penis. Yes, I really drew faces on it with a Sharpie. A nice, average six inches, if you were wondering.

Games:
Name: Fight a Chicken
Description: Fight a chicken.
Genre: Fighting
Levels: One
Screenshot: Bok bok!

Name: Fight a Parrot
Description: Fight a parrot.
Genre: Fighting
Levels: One
Screenshot: Sqawk!

Name: You Have a Hangover
Description: You are terribly hungover. Find a way to deal with it!
Genre: Platform
Levels: One
Screenshot: Bleagh

Name: Disco Party
Description: Nothing left for you to do but DANCE! Try to get 1,000 of each disco light, or find the ultra-special-secret way to win.
Genre: Dance!
Levels: One
Screenshot: All these bad times you're going through just DANCE!

Name: Race Car!
Description: An exciting racing game! Race your car!
Genre: Racing
Levels: One
Screenshot: Dad built a race car with his own hands.

Name: Fight a Duck with the Longest Ever Recorded Bird Penis
Description: Fight a duck with the longest ever recorded bird penis.
Genre: Fighting
Levels: One
Screenshot: Quack!

Name: This Game Stars My Penis
Description: Find love by shooting a lady's various body parts. . . with my penis!
Genre: NSFW, Shooter
Levels: Three
Screenshot: Also NSFW

Name: Tiny Dancer
Description: Hold Tiny Dancer closer! Then enjoy the romantic evening.
Genre: Move from left-to-right simulator?
Levels: One
Screenshot: Count the headlights on the highway.

Name: Don't Hit the Spikes!
Description: Don't hit the spikes!
Genre: Platform
Levels: Three
Screenshot: Or you'll regret it!

Nominations for Greatness:
Metal Axe Warriors, Hungry Hedgehog's MMORPG, Walk You Home Tonight, Don't Stop Believin', Staircase, Sad Old Man. Mind I've only played about half the available games.

Six's picture

shicks

Name: six
Picture: so... dark...
Bio: Wandering sandwichsmith.

Games

Name: Kicking the Hobbit 2: Hobbit Season
Description: In this follow-up to PizzaTime's seminal hunchback-booting struggle for survival in a world gone mad, hobbit kicking has become a cruel stadium sport. Features intense multiplier action!
Tags: hobbits, kicking, sports, flying humanoids
Levels: Just the one. It's a (rather buggy, I just realized) score attack!
Screenshot

Name: Shakespeare Shakespeare Revolution
Description: Canst thou rise to the challenge? Bust out rhymes in authentic iambic pentameter* with the Shakes keeping time! THOU'RT RHYMING FORSOOTH.
Tags: rhythm, sharona, celebrities
Levels: M-M-M-MY SHARONA (the song does end eventually, yes.)
Screenshot

Name: Le parapluie perdu
Description: One lost umbrella's quest for its owner. Warning: may move you to tears.
Tags: ART, lonely game, bolton, love
Levels: A Love Story in One Act
Screenshot

captaincabinets's picture

will be further edited to

will be further edited to add stuff!

NAME: Raphael Freight-Train Shinners
PICTURE: Here. Feel free to crop it like it's hot.
BIO:
There are, unfortunately, multiple things to say about the man whose life's ambition is to be labelled "enigmatic" by the mainstream press. For example, he is 6 feet tall! Balderdash, I hear you decry, and you're right! I was lying. Or was I? No, seriously, he is That Tall.
Klik & Play was a passion of his ever since he received it for christmas many moons ago. In high school, they even crowned him the "Klik King", but this was a result of a massive spelling error. The correct title was "Clique King", a nugget of comedy gold created by the student body, since Raph was not a part of any cliques, gangs or even social circles. Oh the hip irony! To this day, he is still addressed in the street as "Oi! Klikhead!", or something which sounds suspiciously similar.
The ladies love him. He is, after all, supernaturally attractive.

-Games-

N: Emotional Rollercoaster
D: A game in which you experience all the ups and downs, the highs and lows, the peaks and troughs of life, in an abstract fashion! Rife with subtext!
G: Life simulator
L: 1
S: here

N: You have a hangover II - Superbowl (aka Splatterhouse)
D: The barely-single-entendre follow up to smash hit game "You have a hangover", in which you must badly guide vomit to a bowl! If only we were in that parallel universe where smell-o-vision came standard!
G: Sports/Micromanagement
L: 1
S: here

N: Walk you home tonight
D: Had IGN reviewed this, they would have labelled it the "Ico-killer"! They didn't, but you can if you want!
G: Romance
L: 1
S: here

N: Not even remotely original
D: In this game, Klik & Play's engine is stretched to the limits as you recreate the opening scene of a famous series of films which I choose not to reveal! Barely a game!
G: FPS
L: 0
S: here

N: Battle Chess Deluxe Kasparov-bot Edition
D: Help barbarians settle their differences with a little help from a cheeky friend! Ignore the (seemingly) anti-war sentiments, this author is deeply apathetic!
G: Flying/Mediation Sim
L: 1
S: here

N: Money, Power, Sex, Fame
D: You've played Pokemon, now catch the more desirable "all", in this vaguely interactive screensaver! Will make you think, especially if you quit the game and do a crossword!
G: Collectibles
L: 1
S: here

NOMINATIONS FOR GREATNESS: Fight a chicken, Clickety Click, Hungry Hungry Hedgehog MMORPG, Pick Up The Phone And Die, Shakespeare Shakespeare Revolution, Sad old man

Meta Data!

Name: Develop CO
Picture: here
Bio: Owned by French financiers.

N:Zombie in Space!
D:Shot out of an airlock and into the cold depths of space, you must find brains.
G:Exploration/Puzzle
L:1
S:Here

N:Hot Zeppelin History Stage
D:Astronaut Jeffery is stuck in aviation limbo and must fight his way through all the worlds flying machines. This week:Zeppelins!
G:Fighting/Dodging
L:1
S:here

N:Piano Command
D:Jupiter is mad with attack, fight back with piano attack!
G:Bouncing
L:1
S:and here.

Screenshots forthcoming, maybe I'll have learned enough about K&P to make something not terrible next month.

SpindleyQ's picture

NAME: Jeremy "SpindleyQ"

NAME: Jeremy "SpindleyQ" Penner
PIC: We're Not Even Human
BIO: A mild-mannered flowchart analyst by day, Jeremy would not strike you as the sort of person who is able to mobilize a small army of game developers at a moment's notice towards the noble, unfathomable goal of creating 100 games using outdated and broken tools in 48 hours. Yet as the founder of GloriousTrainwrecks.com, he has managed to do just that. In addition to running a website dedicated to terrible videogames, he occasionally writes for the excellent Gamer's Quarter magazine, and one day maybe will finish writing that Atari 2600 port of "robotfindskitten".

GAMES
N: Swordquest: Horseworld
D: The long-lost fifth game in Atari's Swordquest series! In a world where horses have swords for legs, only the bravest of horses can cross the treacherous snail-filled ocean to rescue the fair Princess Horselips! Over and over again.
G: horses, platform, unofficial sequel

N: Air/Sea Giraffe
D: A love letter to Jeff Minter.
G: shooter, unofficial sequel

N: Super Corporate Executive Quest II HD Turbo Remix Deluxe: Return To Lord Skullington's Castle
D: Lord Skullington has stolen your quarterly reports! Navigate his trap-filled castle in this rollicking adventure.
G: platform, irritating jumping puzzles
L: 3

N: Krakozyabry
D: Vladmir, do you have any idea what this game is about? Yes, Igor, it is about spitting lizards from a camel into a man's face! Ha ha ha! Look also there is a hovering guitar.
G: shooter, mouse-controlled

N: Explodin' Shit
D: You cannot escape Elvis. Don't even try, unless you want some points, because blowing up Elvises is what gets you points in this game.
G: Elvis, mouse-controlled, explosions

N: Juggling Forever
D: Featuring intense apple-juggling action! Realistic gravity effects! Mind-blowing 3D-rendered graphics!
G: juggling

N: Don't Stop Believin'
D: This deep, philosophical game is not afraid to ask the hard questions about religion. There is no right or wrong answer, no "bad" or "good" ending; there is only Truth, and those who seek it. Featuring a soundtrack by Journey.
G: goal-less, ART, sacrilege, move from left-to-right simulator

N: Slow Race
D: Do you think you're slow enough to out-slow the slowest guy in town? Find out in this exciting test of wits!
G: slow, racing

N: Cat Golfing
D: Step right up! The cat goes in the basket, you get a point. You want to win a stuffed bear for your lady friend?
G: golf, sports, pussy

N: Piano Tutor
D: Learn how to play the piano, and all about the rich history of piano music, in this incredible edutainment title by SpindleySoft. Your child will love mindlessly clicking on things to hear condescending voice clips. It's multimedia! It's the future!
G: edutainment, piano, music

N: Pick Up The Phone And Die
D: In this graphical re-imagining of the interactive fiction classic "Pick Up The Phone Booth And Die", you play a police officer whose phone is ringing. What do you do? Be careful, because if you pick up the phone -- you die!
G: goal-less, ART, move from left-to-right simulator, unofficial sequel

N: Eat The Moon
D: The moon is delicious. Eat it.
G: collect-a-thon

N: Ukulele Master
D: You may be so small that you have to play your ukulele upright, but what you lack in stature you more than make up for in talent! Don't let The Man water down your unique artistic vision in this thrilling game of cat and mouse.
G: music, shooter

N: Dave Halverson's Review Quest
D: Take on the role of the floating disembodied head of Dave Halverson in this exciting action review-'em-up! Dave Halverson loves all videogames, and it wounds him so to give out a score of anything less than a nine. Collect LSD-laced coffee cups for absurdly high scores!
G: collect-a-thon, mind-altering, celebrity

N: Drive A Bike
D: In this game you drive as though you are a bike.
G: driving, bike

N: This Is The Last Goddamn Game I'm Making: Fuck You
D: Seriously, I've had enough of this shit.
G: contractual obligation, goal-less, ART

BotageL's picture

mememememe

ME
Name: J. "Botagel" Reed
Picture: This, and make it animated if you can!
Bio: In the fourth grade, I made a totally sweet Klik & Play game which made me the envy of all my fellow young nerd friends. I called it "Barney Killers" for trademark reasons, but the informal title was "Barney Blasters," and it was an epic of Stan Bush midis, stolen graphics and crudely-drawn purple dinosaurs exploding into bloody chunks. I feel that experience makes me entirely overqualified for this event, but do not worry; years of K&P experience don't make you any better at making games that aren't a total mess. Please enjoy responsibly.

MY GAMES
Name: Allard Quest
Description: The eyes of Allard hold a dark secret.
Genre Tags: eye beams, shooter, cutscenes, voice acting
Levels: Three exciting stages!
Screenshot: Here!

Name: Bike Adventure!
Description: The game the critics are calling "Sexy Hiking-esque" and "infuriating!" Try it now!
Genre Tags: Scrolling, platformer, motorcycles, awesome
Levels: One incredibly irritating challenge!
Screenshot: Here!

Name: Banana Space Adventure
Description: I don't fucking know either, man. Just don't shoot or touch that fuckin' wizard.
Genre Tags: shooting, space, bananas, merlin, seriously i don't know man
Levels: One, blissfully
Screenshot: Here!

superstar

NAME: Quaggy!
PICTURE: Hey Thar
BIO: My name is Quaggy and I am addicted to Andes mints, and also simultaneously allergic to them. It kinda sucks. I like possums and crocodiles, but I don't have any as pets. I have a cat named Little Boy and three rats; Alaska, Buttons, and Quaggy, because I am conceited and name things after myself. I'm not quite Klik & Play savvy yet, but I managed to choke out a couple of games for this. I am afraid of ovens and I spend my free time avoiding babies.

NAME: Butt Pirate
DESCRIPTION: It's pretty easy to guess what this is about, just from the title. You are a butt pirate! You go on butt-pirate adventures!
GENRE TAGS: Butts, pirates, flamingly homosexual, fun.
LEVELS: FOUR.
SCREENSHOT: CONVERT CONVERT

NAME: WHAT THE HECK DO I DO?
DESCRIPTION: You figure out what you're supposed to do, and then you do it!
GENRE TAGS: Hilarious, frustrating, stupid, what the hell.
LEVELS: You're supposed to figure that out on your own, duh.
SCREENSHOT: DON'T LET THE GIRAFFES DROWN

NAME: Possummer ((Haze and I collaborated on this one.))
DESCRIPTION: Explore 255 levels of street-crossing mania!
GENRE TAGS: Possum, frogger-ish, street safety
LEVELS: 255
SCREENSHOT: LOOK OUT

NOMINATIONS FOR GREATNESS: Hungry Hedgehogs MMORPG, Eat The Moon, Ukulele Master, Kill Yourself

Haze's picture

hooray

NAME: Haze Rever
PICTURE: i guess this'll do
BIO: I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was. To code them is my real test, to beat them is my cause. I will travel across the net, searching far and wide. Each Klik & Play to understand, the power that's inside. Klik & Play... it's you and me. I know it's my destiny. Klik & Play! Oh... you're my best friend, in a world we must defend. Klik & Play - a program so true. Our clipart will pull us through. You you teach me and I'll teach you. Klik & Play... gotta play em all!

NAME: Hungry Hedgehogs MMORPG
DESCRIPTION: a grand adventure of epic thrills and level-grinding. you will make new friends from around the world, and perhaps you too can become a heroine in this world...
GENRE TAGS: action-RPG, public offline beta, contains no house centipedes
LEVELS: no level cap
SCREENSHOT: link

NAME: Arrows
DESCRIPTION: copy what he does! many consecutive hours of breathtaking edutainment, even for the most jaded gamer!
GENRE TAGS: reflexes
LEVELS: one, never ends
SCREENSHOT: link

NAME: House Centipede Fun
DESCRIPTION: a poor unlucky soul is trapped by his worst fear, which just wants a little love.
GENRE TAGS: SURVIVAL HORROR, CONTAINS HOUSE CENTIPEDES(!)
LEVELS: one, never ends
SCREENSHOT: link

NAME: Go Go Power Rangers
DESCRIPTION: do your job to fight evil. it's morphine time!
GENRE TAGS: sentai, pattern-recognition, movie tie-in
LEVELS: one
SCREENSHOT: link

NAME: MegaMoon
DESCRIPTION: ¡viva la revolución de la luna!
GENRE TAGS: space shooter, planetary combat, moon
LEVELS: two!
SCREENSHOT: link

NAME: Possummer
DESCRIPTION: hazardous highway hijinks! you know what to do
GENRE TAGS: frogger-ripoff, cute possums
LEVELS: 255 (actually three)
SCREENSHOT: link

NOMINATIONS FOR GREATNESS: Shakespeare Shakespeare Revolution, Ukulele Master, Bike Adventure, Keys Keys Keys, Sad Old Man, You Have A Hangover, Metal Axe Warriors

kirkjerk's picture

kirkjerk the java guy

IMPORTANT NOTE : I HAVE UPDATED 4 OF THE 5 JAVA GAMES (CORRECTING FRAMERATE ISSUES ON FASTER MACHINES, AND MAKING A FEW OF THE GAME A BIT EASIER) : http://kirkjerk.com/temp/javaknp/

N: Kirk "kirkjerk.com" Israel
P: http://kisrael.com/photos/photobook/me/inverse08.jpg
B: rec.games.video.classic veteran. Creator of JoustPong for the 2600. http://alienbill.com/joustpong/ . Notable for contributing some of the only non-Klik&Play Pirate Kart games, and then for endlessly whinging about that on irc after. (The games were writtin in the Java variant processing.org)

N: nudge
D: (java-based) A dumb exercise in using a physics engine in place of an actual game idea: use the mouse to bat around your ball. Act like a matador and get the enemy balls to run into the edge of the board.
G: java mouse physics balls
L: 1
S: http://kirkjerk.com/temp/javaknp/nudge.png

N: blockvaders
D: (java-based) Space Invaders in a rotating box! 'Cause everything is cooler in 3D and rotating. And in a box.
G: java invaders shooter too_many_boxes green
L: 1
S: http://kirkjerk.com/temp/javaknp/blockvaders.png

N: PREGGERS!
D: (java-based) you are a precious egg cell! try not to get PREGGERS!!!!! click to start and look out for SPERMS!!! then click to add more SPERMS!!!
G: valuable_moral_lesson java mouse egg sperm physics
L: 1
S: http://kirkjerk.com/temp/javaknp/preggers.png

N: cosmicarkatamari
D: (java-based) You got your Atari 2600 Cosmic Ark in my PS2 Katamari Damacy! You got your PS2 Katamari Damacy in my Atari 2600 Cosmic Ark! Two great tastes that go great together.
G: atari 2600 java cosmic_ark katamari_damacy retro critters ball
L: 1
S: http://kirkjerk.com/temp/javaknp/cosmicarkatamari.png

N: breastpong
D: (java-based) Delightfully tacky. Get 100 points, win 100 breasts!
G: nsfw porn pong java breasts boobies tits hooters bazoombas jugs knockers titties boobs breasts melons cans rack dirty_pillows tatas nipples chest mammaries breasticles headlights pillows sweater_puppies chesticles cleavage funbags honkers tats bristols milk_bags nips sweater_meat boulders floppers gazongas hangers holy_humps
L: 1
S: http://kirkjerk.com/temp/javaknp/breastpong.png

N: ALIEN FIGHTER 2000
D: (At last, a Klik&Play game!) The Aliens are Invading ... And You Have to Shoot Them!!! Features a rockin' remix of "Linus and Lucy"
G: shooter rockets peanuts linus lucy
L: 1
S: http://kirkjerk.com/temp/javaknp/alienfighter2000.png

N: homeworld defense
D: THIS ASTEROID IS YOUR HOMEWORLD. ITS NOT MUCH BUT ITS ALL YOU GOT. Features cameos from InterGalactic SpaceMan BlastFest.
G: alien chase control_scheme astronauts
L: 1
S: http://kirkjerk.com/temp/javaknp/homeworlddefense.png

And again... please update the .zip files w/ the latest ones for the java games, minor timing fixes...

kirkjerk's picture

much win

Many games worthy of shout outs, I was in love with like half of them as I played them...

Without a doubt though Eudaimon gets my "wow" award. Slide Puzzle Insanity is just a jaw dropper of win. And Raingel is lovely, and Platform Builder is a terrific little software toy.

Piano Tutor caught my eye as another neat toy.

Nitro Time Rock and Roll is just... An explosion of yay!

And spindizzy is stark and wonderful.

NAME: Seppel PICTURE: The

NAME: Seppel
PICTURE: The only thing I could get imageshack to upload
BIO: BREAK, DOOM.

For each of your games:
NAME: Extreme Calculator!!
DESCRIPTION: Calculator to the extreeeeeme!
GENRE TAGS: Edutainment
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: Screenshot
NOMINATIONS FOR GREATNESS: Mario is Missing!

Six's picture

"BIO: BREAK, DOOM." Is...

"BIO: BREAK, DOOM."

Is... is this a gratuitous Final Fantasy joke?

METADATA

NAME: Alan Gordon
PICTURE: Voila
BIO:
Since the dawn of time, Alan has fought to uphold the three pillars of truth, justice, and videogames. Usually the latter. He is also an accomplished liar, and the inventor of time travel.

GAMES

NAME: Sideways Man Adventures
DESCRIPTION: A game about eating sideways pizzas, but not normal ones.
TAGS: Dodging, adventure, pizza
LEVELS: 3
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/sideways.png

NAME: Triangle Crosser
DESCRIPTION: A game about crossing over a triangle many times.
TAGS: Simple, triangle, crossing
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/triangle.png

NAME: Climb King
DESCRIPTION: A game about going upwards to get treasure.
TAGS: Platformer, action, treasure
LEVELS: 4 + bonus
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/climb.png

NAME: Spindizzy
DESCRIPTION: A game about something, but I'm not sure what.
TAGS: Simple, dodging, surreal
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/spindizzy.gif

NAME: Finger Smashes
DESCRIPTION: A game about controlling a magic flying hammer.
TAGS: Simple, action, smashing
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/finger.gif

NAME: Pie Boy
DESCRIPTION: A game about avoiding lasers to get pies.
TAGS: action, dodging, pie
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/pieboy.gif

NAME: Staircase!
DESCRIPTION: A game about going up and down stairs while under attack by rain.
TAGS: dodging, platformer, rain
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/staircase.gif

NAME: Clickity Clickit
DESCRIPTION: A game about clicking.
TAGS: clicking, action
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/click.gif

NAME: Truck VS Ghost
DESCRIPTION: A game about fighting ghosts.
TAGS: Action, ghosts, trucks
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/tvg.gif

NAME: Ghost VS Truck
DESCRIPTION: A game about fleeing ghosts.
TAGS: Dodging, ghosts, trucks
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/gvt.gif

NAME: Too Many Cheerios
DESCRIPTION: A game about cereal out of control.
TAGS: Action, shooting, dodging, cereal
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/cheerios.gif

NAME: Happy with Sad
DESCRIPTION: A game about prejudice.
TAGS: Happy, sad, dodging, chasing
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/happysad.gif

NAME: Help the Laser Wizard
DESCRIPTION: A game about playing second fiddle to a great wizard.
TAGS: lasers, wizards, help
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/laserwizard.gif

NAME: Climb King Lite
DESCRIPTION: A game that's easier than Climb King.
TAGS: Platformer, action, treasure, easy
LEVELS: 4 + bonus
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/climblite.gif

NAME: Dueling Sandwiches
DESCRIPTION: A game about the triumph of good over evil.
TAGS: action, chasing, sandwiches
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/untitled-2.gif

NAME: Keys Keys Keys
DESCRIPTION: A game about unlocking doors, usually.
TAGS: Keys, adventure, puzzle
LEVELS: 4
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/keys.gif

NAME: Happy with Sad Turbo Deluxe
DESCRIPTION: A game that's harder than Happy With Sad.
TAGS: Happy, sad, dodging, chasing
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/turbodx.gif

NAME: Super Slow Motion Asteroid Runner
DESCRIPTION: A game that is about squeezing between deadly objects.
TAGS: dodging, asteroids, slow
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/asteroid.gif

NAME: Arrow Arrow Revolution
DESCRIPTION: A game that doesn't really have much to do with Dance Dance Revolution.
TAGS: Action, arrows, reflex
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/arrow.gif

NAME: Click on a Chair Holy Crap Limited Edition
DESCRIPTION: A game that costs $49.95*.
TAGS: Chair, clicking, simple
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/chair.gif

NAME: 100 Robots
DESCRIPTION: A game about celebrating a hundred games.
TAGS: Robots, dodging, 100
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/100robots.gif

NOMINATIONS: Shakespeare Shakespeare Revolution, Metal Axe Warriors

Me

Name: Laco
Picture: here
Bio: Some dude

Name: Qinut
Description: Set Qinut free!
Genre Tags: Platformer
Levels: 1
Screenshot: here

Nominations: Haven't played many, but I liked "Sky is Falling", and "spank your pussy" is cool for being totally sfw.

Pizza Time's picture

alter ego "Clive Owen"

NAME: PizzaTime!
PICTURE: link
BIO: Born on Klik mountain, creates games that bring hope to the children. Also Australian so his convict origins are untrustworthy.

NAME: Freestyle Box 2007
DESCRIPTION: Freestly Box 2007 is the exciting new extreme sport that all the kids of today are down with and now there is a computerised game made specifically about it! Move yor box through the New York streets and bust some fat box cutting on any railings you find. But be careful, hitting the sides will totally make you bail out.
GENRE TAGS: box, endless, extreme, single player, sports
SCREENSHOT: link

NAME: Moon Giraffe
DESCRIPTION: The latest abstract art shooting game from the minds that brought you Violent Fighting: Ogre King Challenge, Metal Axe Warriors and Freestyle Box 2007. Help the ubiquitous moon giraffe protect the moon from the approaching kangaroos, if you can.
GENRE TAGS: action, endless, equine influenza, giraffes, sci-fi, space, shooting, single player
SCREENSHOT: link

NAME: Kick The Hobbit
DESCRIPTION: Prevent the Hobbit from reaching the left side of the screen by playing keep away.
GENRE TAGS: endless, single player, Sparta, sports
SCREENSHOT: link

NAME: LASER LAND
DESCRIPTION: Dodge all the lasers in the magnificient LASER LAND.
GENRE TAGS: endless, lasers, sci-fi, single player
SCREENSHOT: link

NAME: Metal Axe Warriors
DESCRIPTION: As the legendary Metal Axe Warrior, fight against the army of the evil magician before confronting him in his black tower. Save the land in three exciting stages through the power of steel.
GENRE TAGS: action, fighting, hero, metal, single player
LEVELS: 3
SCREENSHOT: link

NAME: Nitro Time Rock and Roll
DESCRIPTION: Rock and roll may be a popular form of music but it is also the only weapon that can defeat the evil military. Shoot flaming cars at the military jet whilst dodging grenades to prevent the paratroopers from entering the venue for the gig of the century
GENRE TAGS: action, military, rock, shooting, single player
SCREENSHOT: link

NAME: Violent Fighting: Ogre King Challenge
DESCRIPTION: The powerful Ogre King rules the world with an iron fist in this post apocalyptic violence thriller. You are the only free one who has the power to oppose him and strike him down to bring peace to the world.
GENRE TAGS: action, extreme, fighting, hero, sci-fi, single player
SCREENSHOT: link

NAME: Friday Night Radical Dream Date
DESCRIPTION: A good time had on a Friday night in any town, anywhere.
GENRE TAGS: extreme, party, hoedown, shooting, single player
SCREENSHOT: link

NAME: Happy Time Electro Sex
DESCRIPTION: Stop the invasion of the enemy country. And try not to crash into the ground.
[b]GENRE TAGS:
action, endless, military, shooting, single player
SCREENSHOT: link

NOMINATIONS FOR GREATNESS: Here Comes The Judge, Slide Puzzle Insanity Special Edition, Hungry Hedgehogs MMORPG, Keys Keys Keys, Shakespeare Shakespeare Levorution, This Game Stars My Penis

Haze's picture

BUG REPORT

none of professor scissors's games will open from the menu

closing a game manually sometimes just makes it immediately open again, several times

SpindleyQ's picture

Which menu? By author? Is

Which menu? By author? Is the game info dialog coming up? It might be a too-long filename issue -- do you have it deep in some folder hierarchy somewhere?

Also what OS are you running?

By "closing a game manually" do you mean the actual game and not the info dialog?

Haze's picture

I'm on Win98 btw

I'm on Win98 btw

it'll pull up the game info box, but telling it to run the game just gives an error message, telling me to look at a logfile, which i think says the problem is "no such file or directory" (i have them all installed from the previous zip)
after checking around some more, it happens to other games as well, always on the same ones.
(EDIT: okay i think it has to do with every folder with a space in the name)

closing the game - yeah, by closing the window of the game itself, the ones that weren't coded to close themselves. everything in kart.exe itself works just fine, it only seems to have problems on my computer when accessing the game exe files

oh yeah and i also agree with six. the GUI is too macintoshy and not enough piratey. just a minor gripe.

Six's picture

Pirate Kartin'

Awesome! I did notice a couple of things, though.

-The Klik games don't work on computers that don't have KnP installed. (It wants the DLLs.)
-Apostrophes, hyphens, etc. in the extended info don't display properly.
-I'm sure you realize this, but pictures aren't shown at their proper aspect ratio.
-I don't want to gripe or nothin', but it, um, looks a bit too nice? It's kind of a stark contrast to the games proper! M-maybe you could put in some garish blinking text, or tacky music, or something. Jus' sayin'.

Also, it looks like kirkjerk's (awesome, by the way) processing.org games do require that the JRE be installed. I'm probably the last dude on earth who didn't have it, but a little explanatory note might be helpful.

Oh, and I realized Kicking the Hobbit 2 was broken in the second frame. I fixed that this morning, so maybe you can replace it in the final package.

kirkjerk's picture

what link

so has the link been updated? I'm not on a windows machine right now.

i agree that the title screen should try and fit the vibe.... too bad we didn't have lots of animated GIFs of the KnP art...

SpindleyQ's picture

I'm sorry! I don't have

I'm sorry! I don't have time to ugly up the theme. I'm using the GUI library in Phil's pyGame Utilities and that's the only theme it comes with and I can't find any others floating around that might be more appropriate. I'm trying to make up for it by having the terrible image scaling. A MIDI of "Girl From Ipanema" may well be added as well, if it doesn't fuck up the actual games.

Not leaving you hanging

ME
Name: Eudaimon
Picture: Not yet
Bio: A young college student, he has big dreams for the future. His favorite things in life are spicy foods and the sound of crickets.

MY GAMES

N: Slide Puzzle Madness
D: Blockies are trapped! Make a getaway while getting in each others way!
G: puzzle, cute
L: 7 cute bumpy levels!
SS: upcoming

N: Platform Builder
D: Jumping! Building! Okkusenman! More fun with a friend!
G: sandbox, toy, platformer
L: As many as you can create!
SS: upcoming

N: RAINGEL
D: Far away in space, the RAINGEL struggles against interstellar radiation with it's wave-canceling rainbow ribbon
G: bullet-hell, sci-fi, cute
L: One-screen
SS: upcoming

N: Kill Yourself
D: It's a dark night. No one understands you. Crank up the Linkin Park and cut yourself to death- virtually, of course!
G: emo, suicide, mouse-controlled
L: One-screen
SS: upcoming

N: Slide Puzzle Insanity
D: Sequel to Slide Puzzle Madness. Help the angry Blockoes storm the castle of their oppressors!
G: puzzle, angry
L: 7 angry bumpy levels!
SS: upcoming

N: Slide Puzzle Instanity: Special Edition
D: Over 6 extra megabytes of exclusive content!
G: puzzle, angry, homage, typo
L: 8 angry bumpy levels!
SS: upcoming

NOMINATIONS

Outrun the Ball, Bike Adventure!, Homeworld Defense, Emotional Rollercoaster, Here Comes The Judge, Megamoon, Metal Axe Warriors, Happy with Sad Turbo Deluxe, Too Many Cheerios, Don't Hit the Spikes!

kirkjerk's picture

yowza

So not to over-gush, but like I said, I thought you were doing some of the most interesting things in the compilation (like you can see from the java stuff I did, I'm more into interesting interactions with a bit of humor than garish explosions of color and sound and insantiy)

Do you do game or toy creation outside of KnP? If so, or for any other KnP stuff, do you have a URL?

Glad to know someone liked

Glad to know someone liked my games. Actually, I... haven't done much of anything before. Aside from a game made with KnP that involved martial artists, soccer balls, and a gorilla (which I really wish I had to contribute to the Kart), these were my first games. Like it says in my bio, I really am just a college student right now, and I'm much more of a lurker on the internet than a creator.

I enjoyed your games as well! I only nominated Homeworld Defense because it had the best "bad-game" feel, but your Java games are really nice graphically, and I thought Preggers in particular was pretty brilliant. It's like an even more minimalistic version of fl0w.

kirkjerk's picture

well, shucks

Heh, didn't meant to necessarily create a mutual admiration society here... but I'm glad you liked the java stuff, and if/when i participate in some of the Klik-fests, I'll probably be looking to rip off some of your ideas about platforms. KNP offers some neat possibilities, very object- and event- oriented in a way... though I still haven't quite wrapped my mind around some of how it treats duplicate items. (it seems like sometimes you get clones, other times you get copies, depending on how you do it)

Actually I do kind of wish I had gotten the lay of the land sooner in the weekend, trying more of other folk's stuff in particular, and heaping praise and asking questions in general...

Screenshots

Seems I can't edit my post now that it's been replied to, so here's screenshots!

Slide Puzzle Madness
Platform Builder
RAINGEL
Kill Yourself
Slide Puzzle Insanity
Slide Puzzle Insanity Special Edition

Bad-MSPaint-GIF-conversioniness intentional! I don't have any photographs of myself, nor do I have immediate access to a camera, so I'll have to whip something up I guess. Maybe an "Image Not Available"...

EDIT: Please use this as my picture unless I can come up with something better before you submit. Resize for maximum pixelitude.

Err, also, SpindleyQ, would

Err, also, SpindleyQ, would you mind terribly adding Air/Sea Giraffe to my (long) list of nominations? It is your game after all, and I think it's pretty amazing. I gather that it's based on Space Giraffe, but I'll probably never get to play that game.

SpindleyQ's picture

Hooray! Someone besides me

Hooray! Someone besides me likes it!

It's ... not really anything like Space Giraffe, in the end, except that it has a multiplier. But I'm still proud of it.

captaincabinets's picture

Drawing your attention to

Drawing your attention to the fact that I have uploaded screens.

Also, I am officially close-to-tears proud of what we have achieved.

Finally, can I ask anyone who played "You have a hangover II" whether their vomit stuck to the floor? When I made it it did (as it should), but I played it again and it no longer does, with not a whiff of modification. Which means you can no longer lose self-respect? This is clearly not the kart's fault, it must be just Fickle & Play (see what I did there?).

SpindleyQ's picture

Thank you! Vomit is

Thank you!

Vomit is sticking to the floor here on my PC at work.

captaincabinets's picture

Ahh good-o.

Ahh good-o.

Isaac's picture

isaac

NAME: MR ISAAC
PICTURE: bah just use my new owl avatar or something
BIO: Driven mad by the stare of an owl, MR ISAAC moved to a hermitage amongst the Himalayan mountains, where he tirelessly kliks-n-plays.
-----
NAME: ZEPPELIN SPACE ADVENTURE
DESCRIPTION: Have a grand space adventure in your trusty space zeppelin. Meet endangered space species. Become the hero of the universe !
GENRE TAGS: ZEPPELIN POACHING
LEVELS: THREE (action-packed)
SCREENSHOT: http://squarenipple.com/zeppelin-screen1.gif

Six's picture

SPACE POACHIN'

I missed it the first time around, but ZSA is awesome. Dripping with POETIC JUSTICE and DEEP ENVIRONMENTAL SUBTEXT and shit.

Time's running out

ThePreston is a friend of mine, so I'll submit these in his place to use in case I can't get in touch with him

NAME: Preston Whited
PICTURE: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/preston.png
BIO: Preston's life goal is to create the most explodey laser in the world.

NAME: Dice Fighter
DESCRIPTION: Fight another player or the fiendishly clever computer!
GENRE TAGS: Dice, strategy, fighting
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/dicefight.png

NAME: Endless Showdown
DESCRIPTION: See how many toy soldiers you can defeat!
GENRE TAGS: RPG, endless, button mash, fighting
LEVELS: infinite
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/shodown.png

NAME: Pizza VS Circle
DESCRIPTION: Get that circle!
GENRE TAGS: Chasing, pizza, circle
LEVELS: 1
SCREENSHOT: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v26/professorscissors/pizzavs.png

kirkjerk's picture

thoughts on compilation:

1. now that I've finally seen it... I guess it's piratey enough. Maybe a fixed size font woulda worked?
2. My java games are curiously hit or miss (curiously in the sense of, I think the JVM etc should be the same for all of 'em.. but I don't know for certain) blockvaders and nudge don't do anything, cosmicarkatarami errors out , and breastpong and PREGGERS are fine.
3. no "play game" button directly on the menu, you have to go through game info? I guess that could be piratey crapness...)
4. author info, guess this doesn't get updated from the game list, only when you actually have an author name highlighted. (again more pirateness...)

BTW, is .7Z the hip new thing, or is it just you ?

SpindleyQ's picture

1. If I could have I would

1. If I could have I would have opened the menu with this.
2. Weird, they all work for me.
3. I didn't want people to miss the screenshots! Honestly I should have automatically put the details on the bottom of the window or something, but time constraints and bad 1am judgement. I was just happy to have found a GUI library that got out of my damn way.
4. Wow, that would've been smart.

7z was used because I didn't have WinRAR at work, and zip was unacceptably large in comparison.

kirkjerk's picture

Didn't mean to sound like I

Didn't mean to sound like I was picking on you-- overall the result is really keen and thanks for all your work in pulling this together! It was an astounding experience.

SpindleyQ's picture

Naw dawg, I like

Naw dawg, I like constructive criticism! Makes things better. Thanks for the kind words!