Nice Ass, Baby!

avery's picture
Nice Ass, Baby.png
Game File: 

Released in 2013 to wide disgust from future me.

CW: Epilepsy, very fast moving objects that obscure your vision.

Fun facts about Nice Ass, Baby!:

- It's not a good video game.
- In fact it's the only one of my games that can be classed as true kusoge.
- The name is taken from a GTA: Vice City cutscene.
- It's paritally broken and I can't fix it.
- It did have a bonus archive that came with the game but I removed it due to foolishly including stuff that I didn't even own.
- If the archive still existed, the password would have been "corruptionofchampions". Yes, this game references items from an R-18 flash game.
- Most levels that appear to linger on a static image can be advanced via left clicking.
- The way "zetazs map" is a single image that flashes text on screne before changing is a nod to Vidiot Game by GZStorm.
- On "gro plus", click any jack in the box. Soon as you collect enough points (about 50000), it'll turn into a big negative number. If you go over 10k, press F2 and restart.
- On "reducto", its hard to see but in the bottom left corner it says "press z". Do that.
- On "numb rocks", the acceleration is intentionally slower than molasses. Press and hold a direction, you'll eventually keep moving. I'd advise against stopping before changing direction unless you want to be there all day.
- On "whisker fruit", you have to have extreme patience and motor control. Mute the audio so you can concentrate. Gently press the up key to start moving, but dont hit it too hard or you'll zoom into a wall and will have to start over. Press down if you need to stop. The walls and ceilings without anything on them will stop you as well. You need to collect the weird eyeball on the top left to continue into the right hand part of the screen. Collide with the bubbles to finish the level.

2018 Extra Notes: Interestingly, this is one of my games that I went back and replayed last year, which is when the stuff above was added. So I don't have anything more to add. This game isn't very good at all haha.

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SpindleyQ's picture

Oh no! Picky how? Let me fix

Oh no! Picky how? Let me fix it I can fix it

avery's picture

it wasnt really uploading

it wasnt really uploading properly it seemed

idk maybe its because its 11mb

SpindleyQ's picture

OK, I think I fixed it; if

OK, I think I fixed it; if you could try uploading again that would help me a lot :3

avery's picture

yeeee thats done it

yeeee thats done it

Danni's picture

Goddamnit, how many gorillas

Goddamnit, how many gorillas do I need to collect? I have 31870000 points but I still can't get past the wall of gymnasias!

avery's picture

way way waaaaay under that.

way way waaaaay under that. if you played the old version with the text on the gymnasia level, download the new one. should work fine.

Danni's picture

I'm pretty sure I was

I'm pretty sure I was already using the fixed version?

Edit: Apparently not!

ROT13 spoiler: V ybir ubj gur erjneq vf nyzbfg yvxr n zvav Phggvat Ebbz Sybbe Jvxv.

avery's picture

V jnf guvaxvat bs fbzrguvat

V jnf guvaxvat bs fbzrguvat tbbq/avpr gb chg va gb znxr rirelguvat yrff ehoovfu fb v whfg guerj va rirel tnzr vqrn naq hasvavfurq tnzr gung vir jevggra qbja. Vs nalbar jnagf gb znxr fbzrguvat jvgu gurz gura gurl'er serr gb qb fb.

spiral's picture

this is a very great game

this is a very great game except how do I get past the wall of gymnasiass 5/5

avery's picture

click jack in box

click jack in box

avery's picture

i didnt tell you on accident

i didnt tell you on accident i removed the text that broke the game and didnt tell anyone

SpindleyQ's picture

I can't seem to make the

I can't seem to make the "numb rocks" level do anything?

I have absolutely no idea what's going on in this game.

avery's picture

keep the direction held down

keep the direction held down

I'm having a bit of trouble with the plot, a transcript would be

I'm having a little problem with the cut off text...

I also myself collected 500k worth of gorillas before starting again and doing 10% of that.. i am not sure if i tried it once or twice but the third time the coast was clear.. the trainingaintianiang level was too hard for me but not that too hard...

and i don't get the code to crack at the end... i played through it again and recorded everything I think I needed to but it's like over 12 dozen characters i might have misspelled something. I'm not smert enough to crack the code and like, well I don't like my intellect questioned like that.. probably your intention though.

If there's nothing after the level after train level then I made it through and saw most boards but this is hardest game i play of yours.. Not bad though, I'd have to say it was fun... I always have fun browsing through your stuff. If there's something I would've liked with this adventure I didn't see either maybe more tracks, or one track to envelop the project which i can understand isn't the way you do things, as it would make it too consistent with the frames doing that. For me that's the only way I can really keep in the universe for my things, but alas I think you did right by it.

I do think some frames were very impressionable and more could've been done with them, particularly i liked zetazs map, that was my fav one and was so short.

That's all I've got for input. Keep up the impressionable work. Good day.

avery's picture

I think I figured out what you were getting at so here's this:

Not sure what's causing the weird text cut-off, this game has had quite a few problems really. To be honest it isn't made very well overall.

I assume by the "train level" you mean the maze like place where you have to carefully move around and not hit anything while gorillas are literally everywhere. I made that level intentionally difficult and disorientating. However if you touch sides of the level that have nothing over it then you will completely stop, thus allowing you to get into a correct position. Theres only two levels after the maze one which have no gameplay on them and are literally just for congratulatory things.

By "the code at the end" I suspect you mean the secret stuff archive. If you got past the maze level, it would give you the hint for it but yeah it's "corruptionofchampions", which is the name of a *coughreighteencough* flash gamebook thing and all the level titles are items from that game.

Unlike my other games which usually follow some kind of storyline or path, This really is more of a game that's like "WarioWare" or "Revenge of the Sunfish" (Though 100% less disturbing). I think my main plan for this entire game was just "Well, I haven't made a proper KnP-style trainwreck in a while so let's do something about that". And what occurred from that was a mishmash of random ideas with a bit of KnP-art thrown in (the level that flashes "I LIKE YOUR FACE" is the knp art if you didn't already guess.). I'm glad you enjoyed it though!

I'm not entirely sure which levels are which just from the names really. Which one was Zetaz's Map? My memory tells me it was a short cutscene thing that was completely random but I'm not all that sure.

I'm still trying to make something better than what I've already done but I'm finding it difficult. For the most part these are experiments really, all of the stuff I've made. Including stuff like 18 and House Runner.

How's that? A long reply for an equally long comment.

avery's picture

As for a transcript for the

As for a transcript for the plotline, there is none really. Like I said in my other reply, this game is just a mishmash of random ideas I had while making it.

Maybe my next game will be more story-driven.

Thanks for the input

We sometimes miss your correspondence on the chat since you were regular there but if it helps your productivity in ... uhh, whatever you're up to nowadays by all means keep it up.

As far as story driven, I'm trying to make something casual where the story is apparent throughout, and I'm trying hard to keep continuity. Continuity if done right can look good but it can get boring. I'm looking for the happy medium. I've got the technique down.

I think you're still looking for it, whatever it happens to be. Maybe I am too. Keep us informed and apologies for the late reply, I just learned from mno the ability to look up your own name in recent posts and see if there have been replies since so I stumbled upon this.

avery's picture


order within chaos

it is the true medium

avery's picture

updated, kind of

oh hey! i removed the extra archive that was included in the game just now! the download size should be ridiculously smaller now!! also, a nice easy guide to some of the more confusing/frustrating levels in the game has been included in the description too.

no changes have been made to the game itself however!

enjoy 'w'

avery's picture


Rewrote the entire description to this hellish piece. If I were you, I'd avoid playing this one.