YOU HAVE BEEN SENT TO THE STAR-PUNISHMENT SPEED-ZONE. COLLECT SPEEDSTARS TO GAIN STARSPEED, BUT DON'T LET THE SUPER-WIZARD CATCH YOU!

Left-click to start the game and advance text screens. Use the arrows or WASD keys to move. When you have at least one speedstar, press Z, shift, or space to backdash.

Gamepads may also work depending on your browser and gamepad. You may be able to use either the d-pad or left analog stick to move, a face button to backdash, and the start button to advance most text screens. The very first text screen of the game requires a mouse click even if the gamepad otherwise works.

While Starspeed Speedstar is a silly and intentionally random game, it does have some gameplay depth that might not be immediately obvious. The download includes a more detailed guide to the game. I recommend playing without the guide first, or at least starting without reading the heaviest spoiler section at the end of the guide.

Pilot infinitesimal spherical cows in time trials inspired by classic top-down driving and spaceflight games.

Although this is an action game, planning and forethought are more important than fast reflexes. Each of the five tracks has a different optimal line for each of the eight cows, and quick reactions won't undo bad decisions.

Goal times represent reasonable laps, not perfect ones. With practice, you can surpass the goals by a total of eight minutes or more.

Controls are keyboard only.

LYRICS

yan tan tethera dairy meat and leather are abstract as a particle

methera pip sethera boviniferous ether a field indescribable

lethera hovera covera cosmic laws above are all bound in you inertially

newtonian assumption of the frictionless illusion of the artificial knowable

ride the quantum mechanical bull

CHANGELOG

1.1: fixed a crash bug that could be triggered by letting Angus or Holstein return to absolute zero velocity after motion

Short game set in 1975 Vietnam.

All sounds(except rain sample) created with PO-32 synth.

Controls: arrow keys & mouse.

@KingScientistV