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mno's picture

World Of Explore PRO Edition (ordered by Sergio Cornaga)

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Unseen, a delivery bot arrives at your front door. It deposits a package through your door- if you didn't before, you have a handy mailbox slot now. A screeching, robotic voice begins to blare.

"You have NEW MAIL, Sergio Cornaga! Enjoy, and farewell... Beep boop."

Open the parcel upwards, and inside is a brand new copy of "WORLDLY ADVENTURES UPON THE FORSAKEN AGES OF KEEN KNOWLEDGE, PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY, AND EXTERIOR EXPLORATION [EXPERT PROFESSIONAL USER EDITION FOR HOME USE ONLY]", known as "World of Explore PRO Edition" for short-hand/case. What a day it is to recieve such a fantastic thing!!

Also included is a letter... What could it say? Well, the following:

"Hello valued (CUSTOMER NAME),

"This copy is registered to USER ID#100000000000000, that is to say, you! Your purchase code can be found inside as well, which necessary to pass the state of the art DRM (Digit Retention Multitasker) that WoE PRO Edition includes to counter rampant piracy. No user input is required, for it (or, lack thereof) will be automatically detected. We hope you have a good customer experience. Complaints can be directed to your window.

"To re-brandish the benefits of upgrade from ShareWare "Worldly Explorations Of Joy" to the the PRO Edition you are now a proud, correct owner of, here is a complete list of benefits:

  • 6 New characters to play as, bringing the total to 12!
  • 3 New "sub-zones", one in each area. Explore them all today!
  • Expansive, all-encompassing soundtrack to fit your many moods.
  • More than 50 different personalities to meet and greet and learn from!
  • Advanced DRM to make sure nobody can break into your unique copy.
  • AND MORE! Pay $4999.99 by mail to get a secondary unlock code for extra content!

"Thank you dear (CUSTOMER NAME) for your purchase! And remember, DO NOT LET ANYBODY ELSE PLAY IT FOR THAT WILL BE A BREACH OF CONTRACT AND NOT TOLERATED. Thank you again for supporting this Wonders of Edutainment production (executively co-produced by all lowercase, jery nail).

"PS. We greatly appreciate your patience in waiting two weeks 500 days 1 year, 11 months, and 18 days for this amazing package!"

Hmm. Well, alright. Let's pop the disc in the computer and see what happens next...

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mno's picture

How I Spent A Year Celebrating Glorious Trainwrecks

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Welcome one, welcome all, welcome bone, welcome some. TO! The ninth and tenth anniversaries of Glorious Trainwrecks!! With my first TGF1 game in AGES!

Pre-History: https://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/10162
History: https://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/10602
Post-History: (Selected abridgement- purview README.txt in the download to see it all!)

In this game, you will re-create my own steps leading to this point in time. What is that point of time? I can't tell you. The game will. It's already there. Play it now!!

FAQ (Forthcoming Answers in Qase of people wanting to know what's up with these things)

1) How do I play a game? It doesn't work correctly because [x]!
A: Windows users: if you are running an OS later than Windows XP or so, you might have problems running the game correctly. However, Window's "compatibility" settings should be able to help you. Directions:
    I) Right click on "9thAnd10th.exe" (NOT the .gam file with an identical name- I cannot do anything to make this more distinct, sorry!).
    II) Select "Properties" on the drop down menu.
    III) Click on the "Compatibility" tab.
    IIII) Under the section "Compatibility mode", click on the box to add a checkmark.
    IIIII) Choose the OS to run compatibility mode as. Anything as far back as Windows 95 should work.
    IIIIII) Press on "Apply" or "OK", then run the game. If problems persist, repeat the previous step with a different OS selected until it works. If it still doesn't work, I have no idea what to suggest. Sorry.

Mac/Linux users: the only option is to use WINE https://www.winehq.org/.

3) I "interacted" with everything but there's still like 100 days left! What gives? What am I supposed to do except run into a wall?
A: Solution: every object outside, and every small object, only has one message to give. About half of the big objects in the house have multiple messages, sometimes even one dozen! The rest of the big objects only have one message. But they should make it obvious... If not, no harm in trying again!

11) Why is this game two days late?
A: This is covered in the game. If you need a clue: keep using the computer. And stop jumping in line!

6) I found a typo! Are you going to fix it?
A: No, implementing all the text was already very taxing (and why there's only oh so many objects with multiple lines), and I am not going to review any of it again.

10) Um, I STILL can't read anything? The text is [too small/too big/contrasting badly/off-center/anything]?
A: This is actually something I am worried about and do not have a pre-emptive solution for. However, if any of this is happening, please take a screenshot and show me- I will do my best to fix it, for you and anybody else having the same problem! Unfortunately, with this game, because of the large amount of text, I cannot do my usual of "turn all strings into active objects so that they will be identical independent of anybody's computer". So, they may easily be unreadable for other people due to dis-similar assumptions of font displays. Here's hoping it won't come to this!

12) Why is most of this post this boring FAQ and not your usual high enthusiasm for ridiculous stories with a tenuous, or rather, non-existent connection to the real events of the game, but positioned as the important facts necessary for understanding the world about to be explored, but done in such an overbearing way that without such knowledge the play of the game feels to lack something, something special, that must exist in the player for an effect to be felt?
A:

    Welcome to the year 2016. One smart dingo has appraised the facts well- they see ahead, into the future, a dire need, yes- they can be the one to fulfill it! So goes the ancient history, the known facts. But what truly is known? What we can say is that they surveyed their planes, and took what was plain to see, enduring a bit of pain.

    They left a legacy behind, a declaration, stating: "enjoy these 365 days I have granted you. But be careful, for extending the limits of what you shall be granted means the pool of time must be replenished daily for others to continue to lap from it." Historians are divided on the defintion of this divination.

    What has become of them? This is what you are about to find out- in their own paws! "Walk a mile as me, and you have walked one mile more". A common dingo saying, to those who know how to listen. Textbooks always include that one. But also: "Make sure to well use wily time wisely, for it is all you shall receive.".

    It is this journey that will now be related to you, through the power of the conventions of the video game medium. Thanks to the hard work of the Minions Never Over collective, this display comes to you at a free cost, besides those precious minutes of your life that you can give in return. Thus, timely tidings t'will twist towards truth!

    Yearn towards complete knowledge: but like all faithful teachers, you will find it impossible to, within but just one lifetime, to accomplish every thing set before you. "But, perhaps, this is the final lesson?" Yes. It is. Such are solutions proffered shrewdly by savvy animals surrounding our soulful history.

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mkapolk's picture

Dondgynns Auv Ye Wyrdd

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We found a USB stick disguised as an ivory brooch among the many chests of gaudy silks, leaking perfume bottles, and taxidermied macaws that belonged to my late aunt. On the stick was this unfinished game. I managed to convince my 12 thieving uncles that there's no money in game development, so they let me keep the dump of the data while they weathered the brooch to sell as an antique. I thought you all might get a kick out of it. Every summer on Indian Lake there's a new litter of raccoon pups, and swamp stinks to high heaven.

The files were too big for the GT uploader, so here are the links:
http://marekkapolka.com/games/dungeon/dungeon_windows.zip
http://marekkapolka.com/games/dungeon/dungeon_mac.zip
http://marekkapolka.com/games/dungeon/dungeon_linux.zip

Author: 
Emily Anne Greene, I think?
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mno's picture

World Of Explore

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What is the WoE?? Well! You're about to find out, huh!? Choose the right answer below:

VI) "Whatever, o, Emanuel": the only known line of a destroyed play by W. Shacklespare.

4) Many have spoken of a whole World of Exploration out there... something beyond the WORKZONE we all know and love. But first you'd need a MAPZONE to find your way there, and all know MAPZONES died out years ago!

A) Watermelon over Eggplant, a famous Canadian dish.

¢) Wonders of Edutainment, the previously infamous publisher of "classics" such as How To Drop Out Of School And Pursue A Non-Capitalist Lifestyle and Just Where Do Chicken Eggs Come From Anyways: Every Disgusting Detail You Never Wanted To Know. WoE closed in late 2059 after the sucess of the government-funded anti-public learning potential campaign.

B) To Explore other Worlds is illegal as going off-planet has been banned since 1988.

∞) Infinity and its lack in limit halt my quiz ability, as I can't act any; I am stuck running by my mind that significant acting against infinity is in grand vain.

eee) Pour Water on yer Enigma plants daily or else it will start thirsting for your blood.

Q) The most common letters, case included, in the star language spoken by the dreaded Queens of Space, when translated into English. Full alphabet by common-ness: WoEbBtJqrzaSIlpVmKOr. (Language Hyper-Literalists taking this exam: Please accept the alphabet arrangement offered here, as GloriousTrainwrecks does not endorse transposition of the language based on the DVORAK arrangment, only QWERTY. Thank you.)

H) Wall of Endisburgh.

¾) "wOe!", the name of the post-grunge soft~seapunk \chillwave/ nightcore band that is rocking the dance floors.

↑) All Of The Above

<) None Of The Above

↓) All Of The Below

⑧) Word Of Explode

When you are finished, draw the logo of the brand owner of yer favourite flavour of peach ice cream. Hand the sheets in to my desk and you will recieve your grade next Thur



SO READS THE LAST FRAGMANT OF HUMANITY REMANING AFTER KNOWN SOCIETY IS DESTROYED UTTERLY BY THE FREE MARKET. CENTURIES LATER, THIS PIECE OF PAPER, BURNT SLIGHTY AT THE EDGES AND SOGGY TO THE TASTE, IS FOUND BY THE NEW HUMAN MOVEMENT. UNTIL NOW THEY HAVE HAD NOTHING TO BASE THEIR SOCIETY OTHER THAN UNSALTED CRACKERS. BUT NOW, THEY HAVE REASON, THEY HAVE POSSIBLITY, THEY HAVE: WORLD OF EXPLORE!



- That's the description of the program on the back of the case of the new open-world, all-inclusive, klikware historical title, Just What Is The World Of Explore?, which attempts to unravel for the player the original prototype game that was the foundation for our current society. As a gamer, I found ...World Of Explore? to be highly satisfying: with SIX whole customizable* characters who can each explore THREE massive locations in highly unique ways (such as: snowman can move left or right, singer can move left or right, jogger can move left or right and up slightly if you glitch the game), players have many reasons to replay it over and over.

This is the only highlight of WoE?, unfortunately. The sound design is awful: there is no consistency between interaction sounds, which all sound like they're from random sources. Music inside of the game appears to be, to my finely tuned ears, entirely composed of MIDIs that should not have seen the light of day. I will admit though, the title theme Welcome To The World Of Explore! by Dj Ruffty is such a great track! I give Music such a high score below only because of this.

Finally, on the visual side, things get a little better. Honestly, I just appreciate the sheer effort put into making every scene ridiculous and overblown. Sometimes, it feels like the art team was just trying to make something be totally differnt from everything else. The lack of cohesion in the art design (yet again, I feel like almost everything is taken from some clipart package or some such) does the narrative of the game harm though, almost to the point that I would call it anti-ludological.

That's every component of a Game covered: Replay, Sfx, Muses, and Sight. Also every sense we evolved humans have.

FINAL SCORE FROM THE INFORMED GAMER:

Replayability: 15/10
Sound: -5/10
Music: 3/10
Visual: 5/10
Overall: 10/10/100


* Only WoE? PRO version only lets you augment your characters on the fly. I'm a skirted train driver with five arms, two feet, who walks around in a bathtub. What are YOU?

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whoiam's picture

Castle Powerup Jump

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Jump around and get upgrades to your movement.
Press Up or A to Jump,
hold for a longer jump,
also you can double jump.

Press Left Right to Move

and Press S to shoot to destroy cracked blocks when you have the red power.

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The Square

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Just a little prototype of a game im working on.

2 Powerups for now, "Low-Jump" and "High-Jump" wich can be used by holding 'd' or 'a' if they are collected.

Control with arrow-keys.

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Don't Freeze to Death... and mind the axe murderer.

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Don't Freeze to Death... and mind the axe murderer (alternatively DFTD) is my first attempt at any game jam whatsoever, in my first attempt in Game Maker. Done in -just- over 2 hours.

It is about a lone hiker who becomes lost in the snowy wilderness and must make fire from sparse trees in order to stop himself from perishing in the harsh cold.

Also there's an angry guy with an axe who keeps popping up.

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SirNiko's picture

The Secret of Sky Castle

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You have found it, the mysterious Sky Castle. What awaits you inside?

Shift to jump, arrows to move.

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