I'm at a hotel in Florida as I write this,and the internet here is godawful.
This game sums up what happens.

CONLORTS:
Arrow Keys: Move

The best connection I get here is in the bathroom.

A short, crappy game I coded in an hour. Contains ponies. You'll need an interpreter to play this; google "WindowsFrotz" or "Gargoyle interpreter" for Windows, "Zoom interpreter" for Mac.

AHOY THARR! Kill the knytts before you get itchy scalp syndrome! Starring Jesus as an ill mannered television herder!

featuring juni but made in KNP - don't try to drop it into knytt installer you fool!