welcome to your first day as a chocolate shoe arranger! please the endless chain of underwear babes by making them custom chocolate shoes. what's a chocolate shoe? it's a shoe filled with chocolate. it's a smelly ass nasty shoe that someone's been wearing all dang day that's filled with chocolate. i dunno but people buy it so make it for them. please try really hard to pair a good shoe with a good chocolate. really think about how the smells and flavors go together. the last guy was terrible. we couldn't let him go because it's impossible to hire shoe chocolatiers in this city but it's not like we're sad to see him gone. i can't believe i got roped into going to his weedding. i think if i just don't go he'll forget he invited me but i don't want to risk it. oh they get those place mats and stuff at weddings huh they'll definitely notice if i bail. fuckkk yeah i guess i have to go. anyway good luck

>:^)

Inspired by these other very good games which you may have played or even made depending on what person you are:!

16 Rooms 16 Doors 16 Colors by everythingstaken
http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/9476

Apparition Plate Savers by ghettowreath
http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/9474

It is partially an adventure game, but you can't read most of the text because of bad handwriting and eye straining color combinations; so don't try too hard to read them. If you find something illegible, give up and just use your imagination instead of getting frustrated.

Break the walls of the patriarchy! Learn your ABC's.

Thanks again for the help Dattorz!

Happy Buzzlewitz Day!
(I'll make an actual Buzzlewitz game later today)

What is the WoE?? Well! You're about to find out, huh!? Choose the right answer below:

VI) "Whatever, o, Emanuel": the only known line of a destroyed play by W. Shacklespare.

4) Many have spoken of a whole World of Exploration out there... something beyond the WORKZONE we all know and love. But first you'd need a MAPZONE to find your way there, and all know MAPZONES died out years ago!

A) Watermelon over Eggplant, a famous Canadian dish.

¢) Wonders of Edutainment, the previously infamous publisher of "classics" such as How To Drop Out Of School And Pursue A Non-Capitalist Lifestyle and Just Where Do Chicken Eggs Come From Anyways: Every Disgusting Detail You Never Wanted To Know. WoE closed in late 2059 after the sucess of the government-funded anti-public learning potential campaign.

B) To Explore other Worlds is illegal as going off-planet has been banned since 1988.

∞) Infinity and its lack in limit halt my quiz ability, as I can't act any; I am stuck running by my mind that significant acting against infinity is in grand vain.

eee) Pour Water on yer Enigma plants daily or else it will start thirsting for your blood.

Q) The most common letters, case included, in the star language spoken by the dreaded Queens of Space, when translated into English. Full alphabet by common-ness: WoEbBtJqrzaSIlpVmKOr. (Language Hyper-Literalists taking this exam: Please accept the alphabet arrangement offered here, as GloriousTrainwrecks does not endorse transposition of the language based on the DVORAK arrangment, only QWERTY. Thank you.)

H) Wall of Endisburgh.

¾) "wOe!", the name of the post-grunge soft~seapunk \chillwave/ nightcore band that is rocking the dance floors.

↑) All Of The Above

<) None Of The Above

↓) All Of The Below

⑧) Word Of Explode

When you are finished, draw the logo of the brand owner of yer favourite flavour of peach ice cream. Hand the sheets in to my desk and you will recieve your grade next Thur



SO READS THE LAST FRAGMANT OF HUMANITY REMANING AFTER KNOWN SOCIETY IS DESTROYED UTTERLY BY THE FREE MARKET. CENTURIES LATER, THIS PIECE OF PAPER, BURNT SLIGHTY AT THE EDGES AND SOGGY TO THE TASTE, IS FOUND BY THE NEW HUMAN MOVEMENT. UNTIL NOW THEY HAVE HAD NOTHING TO BASE THEIR SOCIETY OTHER THAN UNSALTED CRACKERS. BUT NOW, THEY HAVE REASON, THEY HAVE POSSIBLITY, THEY HAVE: WORLD OF EXPLORE!



- That's the description of the program on the back of the case of the new open-world, all-inclusive, klikware historical title, Just What Is The World Of Explore?, which attempts to unravel for the player the original prototype game that was the foundation for our current society. As a gamer, I found ...World Of Explore? to be highly satisfying: with SIX whole customizable* characters who can each explore THREE massive locations in highly unique ways (such as: snowman can move left or right, singer can move left or right, jogger can move left or right and up slightly if you glitch the game), players have many reasons to replay it over and over.

This is the only highlight of WoE?, unfortunately. The sound design is awful: there is no consistency between interaction sounds, which all sound like they're from random sources. Music inside of the game appears to be, to my finely tuned ears, entirely composed of MIDIs that should not have seen the light of day. I will admit though, the title theme Welcome To The World Of Explore! by Dj Ruffty is such a great track! I give Music such a high score below only because of this.

Finally, on the visual side, things get a little better. Honestly, I just appreciate the sheer effort put into making every scene ridiculous and overblown. Sometimes, it feels like the art team was just trying to make something be totally differnt from everything else. The lack of cohesion in the art design (yet again, I feel like almost everything is taken from some clipart package or some such) does the narrative of the game harm though, almost to the point that I would call it anti-ludological.

That's every component of a Game covered: Replay, Sfx, Muses, and Sight. Also every sense we evolved humans have.

FINAL SCORE FROM THE INFORMED GAMER:

Replayability: 15/10
Sound: -5/10
Music: 3/10
Visual: 5/10
Overall: 10/10/100


* Only WoE? PRO version only lets you augment your characters on the fly. I'm a skirted train driver with five arms, two feet, who walks around in a bathtub. What are YOU?

Where has Olson been? We don't know, except we do.
He was in an elevator, going up up up.
Was that his destination? I highly doubt it.

-Incredibly small game file
-Animations that blend in perfectly
-Men who are in the way
-Sacagawea
-Bus stop deprivation
-7 out of 4 people say it's good
-Olson is a wonderful fellow

Zoom! Enhance!

Made in Visual Basic 2012 6.0. Windows only, unless you're a magician!! :)

2018 Extra Notes: Not much to add here. T'was a mandatory part of the college course I was on at the time to make this and somehow I managed to convince my tutor to let this pass, since it technically met all the requirements. Never said it had to look good, y'know~ Anyway this is pretty much just one joke and it's not that great. I never touched Visual Basic again after this.

SMOOTH JAZZ IN THE CITY OF CHICAGO
FROM THE ROOTS TO YOUR HEARTS~

Part 14 of the epic medieval saga about Galad the Golden Knight, set on a quest to rescue the Pink Pixel Princess from the clutches of the evil Red Guard. In this episode, the princess was taken deep into the Red's Keep. Luckily, Fourteen Cobalt Companions have come to your aid! Open doors. Cross the castle. Use the magic items to your advantage. Battle the guards. Rescue the princess. Avoid stingy swords. Survive horrible medieval music!

Controls: keyboard arrows or WASD. SPACE to lead your companions into attack. X to use a magic spell.

Requirements: Windows XP or 7, DirectX (at least 9?), .NET, 1024x768 or higher resolution.

Background story: made for "the event-formerly-known-as-14". There's also a part 1 in existence. The other parts are still to be made as prequels. Medieval resolution. Oh, and it's uploaded on the 14th! How symbolic.

ONLY CUTSCENES ARE ON DOWNLOADABLE FILE
https://mega.co.nz/#!YAVgUY6K!Uok12Xb6tDNnnsx1_H9ARH-NSXZxbeBGH6fTWeQlKbM - Game (BEWARE IT TAKES A LONG TIME TO DOWNLOAD)
THE MICHAEL ROSEN GAME IS FINISHEDDDDDDD