SQUALID SPACE SQUASH
(playing it online would be the best option)
You are an experimental MOTIVATING SPACE GUN, developed by the FBI (French Butter Investigators) to give space soldiers more enthusiasm in fighting off the horrid GREEN GATTLEBLAST BUGS that are slowly infesting every corner of the galaxy. With your give and take rewards, you were supposed to give J. CITIZEN support in fighting off dummy BUGS, but unfortunately they found out about you and started invading the compound - now you and J. CITIZEN will have to fend them off lest the only existing prototype for the MOTIVATING SPACE GUN is destroyed!
Use the SDWA or ARROW KEYS to move around. J. CITIZEN is so scared of the GREEN GATTLEBLAST BUGS that he will not be able to do more than hang on to you
LEFT CLICK the MOUSE to tell J. to fire a bullet out of you. How many bullets you can fire at any given moment depend on how well J. has been fighting against BUGS.
SCORE is, well, your score. Every new power of 10 reached sets the bullet count back to 1 - double that score for 2 bullets, triple it for 3, and so on. This system is meant to reward combatants for great achievement, and subsequently give them more challenge when they perform well.
HEALTH is how many more hits J. CITIZEN can take before expiring, leaving you helpless against the damn BUGS! Every 1000 points gained gives J. more confidence, allowing him to take another hit.
BULLETS tells you straightfowardly how many shots can be made at once.
MONSTER HUNGER is a rating of how ravenous the BUGS have gotten - as it increases, so does the speed of BUGS, how well they can track you, and how many points killing one is worth.
MONSTERS ALIVE is a convenient counter of what you are currently up against.
1-80: You couldn't even kill a single GREEN GATTLEBLAST BUG? Either the MOTIVATING SPACE GUN is a failure, or YOU are!
81-1000: OK job - if you're a monkey
1001-5000: Good work, J. must be really feeling the flow!
5001-10000: You made it as far as many would be expected too
20000+: Wow, that was quite a stretch!
30000+: You must be cheating...
Controls: arrow keys, space (jump)
Defend the defenseless in this classic game. Test your tactical jumping prowess as you try to save the infant genitalia from the knife!
Game suitability: Please do not play this game.
Alternative "censored" version here:
Sounds recorded from scratch!
Music borrowed graciously from http://smickandsmudew.com
Completely standalone EXCEPT it may need to install the August 2008 DirectX update. I'm so very sorry. Had I known, I may have chosen another platform. The good news is that should be all you need, and the game will give you an error when you start it, linking you to the download site.
No foreskins were harmed during the making of this game.
i thought i'd cheat, too.
dodge the things! rack up the points! it's fun.
oh what a broken game. knock over the obstacles. collect the fruits and vegetables. roll the baby.
left and right arrow to influence the baby's rolling
up is supposed to be a jump button, but if you're next a wall and you tap it repeatedly you can sort of climb
music is armadillo by yubatake
thanks + enjoy
You are a gibbed head in Quake. You need to roll around and find your body before it respawns! But it may be too late...
A game by Thanny Mack (thannymack.com)
I have never made a game before. I wanted to use k n p like all the cool people but it just wouldn't run. So instead, construct. This isn't really finished, but I figure after two hours, it's finished enough.
Mash ctrl to shoot.
I hope it's not too late to take part in this glorious event.
Press [ SPACE ] to throw poop! Any monkey can fight windows!
This is my first game for GT... and also my first creation in Construct. Woohoo!