John Moore doesn't make many video games! But he does watch ducks!

well, sometimes things just don't come out as you'd like. i'm sorry ma. i'm sorry da. i'm sorry sam. i'm sorry bogey. sorry. sorry. sorry.

I didn't think I could possibly crack a smile at the thought of Chuck Norris ever again -- and certainly not at a game called Super Chuck Norris Bros -- but then I saw this fantastic video.

It's amazing how satisfying it is to be an unstoppable badass who can explode enemies with his mind, destroy every obstacle just by wandering into it, and mow down the background -- clouds, trees, and hills alike -- with a chainsaw. Yes, this is a trainwreck, and it is glorious. You owe it to yourself to spend a couple of gleeful minutes with the demo.

Players complained that maves bocan 2 was "too difficult," we have corrected these concerns.

presenting my experimental atmospheric whatever single
for the album cover AI generation might have been involved

SQUEEZE YOUR BRAIN MAKE A GAME SQUEEZE YOUR BRAIN MAKE A GAME SQUEEZE YOUR BRAIN MAKE A GAME ONLY 30 MINUTES LEFT GOOO

So, the site was down for a couple of hours today, and it is going to be acting a little funny for the next little while. You will notice that pages will sit not loading for up to 20-30 seconds at a time, and then suddenly everything will work fine for a short while. This is expected and, sadly, appears to be unavoidable.

Shortest version: PHP is a hateful language and the source of all misery in the world.

Short version: don't try to delete 3.5 million rows from a table in MySQL all at once, especially one that's accessed every time someone visits a page on your website.

Longer version: When someone visits the site without a cookie (for instance, someone visiting the site for the first time, someone who has logged out and back in, spambots, viewing from seperate browsers, whatever), Drupal generates a random number for the client to use as its session identifier. It shoves this number into a database table, along with a timestamp of when it gave that number out. Every so often, it is meant to do a search for old, expired sessions, and clean them out of the database, because otherwise it would just grow and grow forever and become monstrously full of useless data.

This has not been happening. Ever. In the five years the site has been running.

It turns out that the "garbage collection" process controlled via an internal PHP configuration setting, which Debian Linux turns off because the way it works is kind of dumb (instead of being scheduled on a predictable basis, as would be sensible, it happens at random when someone tries to view a page). Unfortunately, the alternative they set up doesn't work with Drupal.

So I turned it on. And tried to load the site. And then it turns out that while it's cleaning up the session table, the site can't access it. And the site needs to access it on every pageview to see if you're logged in or not.

Well, I figured it had a lot of data to crunch through, so I decided to let it do its thing. And I waited. And waited. And 2.5 hours later it still wasn't done. I looked around online and decided that maybe the more sensible course of action was, instead of sorting through and deleting 600mb of data all at once, maybe I could write a little script to just delete a little at a time, and let other things talk to the database once in a while. Like my website.

So that's what it's doing. Unfortunately there's so much data to wade through that even deleting 1000 rows at a time takes like 20 seconds. This process will hopefully speed up as more old sessions get deleted, until eventually, sometime, maybe tomorrow?, there will be no noticeable pauses at all when browsing the site. Won't that be great? I'm looking forward to it.

Anyway, thought I'd let people know what was going on.

An adventure game where you wander aimlessly through an infinite cosmos and make choices. Some of the choices have bad outcomes and there's no way to know in advance. Sorry about that.

Created for the Sylvie Shuffle Jam, hosted by Sylvie.

Walk to Toadstool's elegant charity ball while collecting as many sparkling coins as possible.

Controls:
* Left click - extend the road.
* Space - run.

This game is more fun if you draw plenty of loops.

Inspired by that Kirby game for the DS, and possibly those other line riding games.

Is the regular Klik of the Month Klub at an absurdly inconvenient time? Then try the Ladies' Auxiliary Klik of the Month Ball! (Ladies' Auxiliary Klik of the Month Ball is open to all genders and time zones.) The Ball takes place at 4PM GMT -- check that link to see what time that falls on for you.

The rules are the same: You get two hours to make a game in Klik & Play. If Klik & Play is a hindrance rather than a boon to your creativity, feel free to dump it for the game creation tool of your choice. If you're new to Klik & Play, check out our Learning KNP FAQ.

It's no fun making games by yourself in a vacuum, so make sure to stop by IRC. Our server is irc.freenode.net, and our channel is #glorioustrainwrecks. There's also got a Mumble voice chat server -- just connect to glorioustrainwrecks.com using Mumble and you can talk to us like real human beings!

After you've made your game, you should upload it here!

For more information, check out the N00B FAQ.

Sign up below if you'd like to be reminded the day before the ball!

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SKELETONa3.GIF	4.81 KB
jack1a3.gif	7.84 KB
shaggs.gif	12.07 KB

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Games made for Zombies' Corpse-iliary Klik of the Monster's Ball #12